The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Monday, December 08, 2003  

A Liberal Mugged by a Mugger

They used to say a neonconservative is a liberal who has been mugged by reality.

Last night I was mugged. Mugged by reality in the form of a mugger.

There’s not much to say really, it all happened so fast. A man grabbed me from behind, extending his left arm across my chest. “I want your wallet,” he said, or something like that, I can’t remember exactly, and then he went for my back right-hand pocket, which is where my wallet normally is, but it wasn’t last night. Then he reached into the right-hand pocket of my coat, which isn’t where my wallet usually is, but it was last night. And then he knocked me to the ground and ran off.

And that was it.

An ugly and painful gash on my left palm and some cash and easily replaceable ATM and library cards gone, along with my buy-ten-sandwiches-or-salads-get-the-next-one-free card from Cosí, just recently stamped for the tenth time.

The biggest annoyance: losing my driver’s license. It was my New York driver’s license and it expired a few months ago. One can replace an expired out-of-state license with a Pennsylvania license with little hassle as long as the expiration date is within the past six months. Now, however, unless I can get a replacement from New York, which is unlikely since I no longer live there, I’ll probably have to start from scratch. I knew I should have taken care of this a long time ago.

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