The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Tuesday, June 10, 2003  

Sartorial Splendor

My good friend Susan Madrak of Suburban Guerrilla, in writing up our evening at Philadelphia’s incomparable White Dog Cafe, just happened to mention that I "looked spiffy as hell in a freshly starched DKNY white shirt."

What she failed to mention was that I also was wearing a classic four-button Calvin Klein sport coat, a Versace belt, Gucci shoes, a Breitling watch, and carrying a Prada wallet.

Not that it matters, but chew on that, asshole. You know you are. And all the paid advertising in the world won’t lift your sorry-ass perpetually self-referential blog (Who cares about your family?) -- or your dick -- higher than four or five hits on my referral log.

[Post-publication addendum (June 11): Several readers wrote to inquire about the pants I was wearing at White Dog Cafe's "Table Talk" with Eric Alterman. Truth be told, I wasn't wearing any pants. Hey, it's a look. No, just kidding, the pants are from Banana Republic, as were the socks. (Sorry, the guy just eats this stuff up.) And I will not now, nor ever in the future, answer the question, "Boxers or briefs?" Some women seem to get a real charge out of posing that juvenile inquiry. Here's a tip, guys: If you're asked "Boxers or briefs?" ask in return, "Do you wear big underwear or little underwear or no underwear at all?"]

[Post-publication addendum (June 12): For another take on all this, see the Pennsylvania Gazette.]

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