The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Monday, June 17, 2002  

The Newspaper as Self-Expression

We are normally the last to receive the humorous e-mails that travel across the country with surprising speed and repetition. And we normally don’t share those we receive with others, assuming as we do that everyone we know already has seen them.

We are making an exception today with a list that arrived from a reader in Connecticut.

What Does Your Newspaper
Say About You?

The Wall Street Journal is read by people who run the country.

The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who want to run the country.

USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like bright colors and their smog statistics shown in pie charts.

The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave L.A. or drive on the freeway in the rain to do it.

The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country, and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated and/or while wearing a bunny suit.

The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all they stand for.

The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

The Washington Times is read by arch-conservative white folks who don’t think there are any other kinds of folks in this country besides arch-conservative white folks.

The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

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