By way of Coherence Theory of Truth today I read The Beast’s 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2002.

Two of my favorite loathsome write-ups are those for #10, Ashleigh Banfield, and #13, Sean Hannity, but these two, reprinted below, are just a fraction of what The Beast has to offer.

10. ASHLEIGH BANFIELD

Misdeeds: Uses glasses to upgrade her image from WASP-y soccer mom to WASP-y soccer mom who reads. Thought dying her hair black would make her a real journalist. Cried on camera while reporting from Ground Zero.

Aggravating Factor: Has quite possibly the whitest name you can imagine. Her name is the equivalent of a black person named La’ Shawna Jackson-Watkins.

Aesthetic: Co-chair of the Elk Woods Country Club charity golf tournament.

13. SEAN HANNITY

Misdeeds: Without question one of the most smarmy, vile, hypocritical talking heads on television. Has the uncanny ability to vilify and generalize those who disagree with him, and then state that he’s not a partisan person. Exploits his devout Catholicism and patriotism to the point that it makes you think he’s selling something—like his book, whose cover features his giant head in front of one of the glossiest, waviest American flags ever. Much of his wrath can probably be traced to his displeasure that Reagan still can’t remember his name although he’s met him many times.

Aggravating Factor: Since 9/11, pretends to be genuinely convinced that anyone who disagrees with the Bush administration does not want America to be safe. [Ed.: Pretends?]

Aesthetic: Repressed kid from Long Island who got to college, was scared of sex, discovered other repressed white kids in conservative student group, joined them, devoted rest of life to blasting people who didn’t.

I’m not going to tell you who’s #1, the person identified as the single most loathsome person in America. I’ll just say it’s a title that is well deserved.