The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Wednesday, January 29, 2003  

This is Just for the Archaeological Record

I’ve said here before that I miss a lot, due in part, I think, to the fact that I work alone and from home, and because I watch very little television. (Latest example: When -- and why? -- did Matt Lauer cut his hair off?) One would think, though, that given the volume of e-mail I receive and the number of web sites I visit on a regular basis, certain interesting, provocative, and humorous items circulating the world would reach me, or my consciousness, sooner.

Such is the case with the “song,” “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Bomb Iraq,” which arrived here just this week. I don’t know, maybe I ran across it before, maybe not. But before you send a message telling me this protest has been around for weeks, or post something on your warblog saying what a dork Capozzola is for publishing “old news,” I’m saying up front: It’s new to me and I think it’s terrific. And it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want to.

I’m posting it here, in its entirety, because I like it and because I think it deserves to be part of the cyber-archaeological record of our time. Besides, the more places the song is posted, the less likely it is that the powers that be (See Attorney General Short Stick, below.) can expunge it from our collective conscience when their counterrevolution arrives in full.

As best I can determine, the words to “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Bomb Iraq,” which is sung to the tune of summer-camp favorite, “If You’re Happy and You Know, Clap Your Hands,” were written by John Robbins, about whom I confess to knowing nothing whatsoever until today.

If you’re unfamiliar with it, enjoy. If you’ve already heard it, enjoy.

“If You’re Happy And You Know It Bomb Iraq”
by John Robbins

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi,
And your alibi is shoddy,
And your tastes remain quite gaudy,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think that SUVs,
Are the best thing since sliced cheese,
And your father you must please,
Bomb Iraq.

If the globe is quickly warming, bomb Iraq.
If the poor will soon be storming, bomb Iraq.
We assert that might makes right,
Burning oil is a delight,
For the empire we will fight,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone’s dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let’s look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

If corporate fraud is growin’, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin’, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain’t easy,
And your manhood’s getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might now knows no borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We’ll call it treason,
It’s the make war not love season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

The Rittenhouse Review | Copyright 2002-2006 | PERMALINK |