I've never been much of a believer in astrology or the like, though I often find "the occult" and "the dark arts" entertaining -- Oops, lost a few readers with that one! Nonetheless, I thought it at least an interesting coincidence that yesterday I ran across on a "do your own horoscope" CD I bought for reasons unknown a couple of years ago.

Just for the heck of it, I reloaded the CD on to my PC, entering the relevant "birth" information for The Rittenhouse Review, including the exact date and time of day, and the geographic location whence the first post arose.

The results generated by the program, published by a company called World of Wisdom, run to more than 20,000 words. Obviously given copyright issues, I can't publish the full report -- Not that I would have, anyway: Even I'm not that interested in the psychic make-up of this site. -- But I thought some aspects of the astrological profile were pretty interesting.

I've published excerpts from the report below. As I was editing it down to something on the order of 10 percent of the original text, I had to keep reminding myself the profile is about the Review, not about me. But, as most bloggers know, it's difficult to separate the blog from its writer. So this is either the chart of the Review, or of the Review as channeled by me, or of me as expressed through the Review, or all three, or a combination of all three, or something.

Much of what I've republished below is remarkably accurate. Some of it is thought provoking, a fair amount is contradictory, and by no means is it entirely flattering. I'll leave it to the reader to decide which portions of the profile to accept or reject. [Note: I've made grammatical corrections from the original text and have adapted the program's annoying "Britishisms" because, well, I find Britishisms per se annoying.]

LIFE PATH

You are an intense and rather secretive person, who believes in deep emotional involvement. You are powerfully motivated by the need for emotional security and you expend a lot of energy trying to maintain calm in this area. Being unable to control the emotional reactions of others, you have a tendency to be jealous and to engage in emotional brinkmanship. You lack emotional flexibility, see issues as black or white and tend to come with ultimatums.

You take yourself -- and the impression you make on others -- very seriously indeed. Some people may consider you self-centered. You tend at least to be the center of attention, and although you invest all of yourself when you relate to others, you give your own personal development needs priority.

You are a moody person and will often find yourself affected by fluctuating emotional states….You are finely tuned to changes in atmosphere, and adjust accordingly.

You are a larger than life character with strong views on most issues and a deep interest in spiritual issues.

You can feel that your role in life is connected to future visions and the necessity for change in society. You add a dash of originality to the world, and people are either inspired or provoked by your rather unusual personal style. You shake up your surroundings and often use shock tactics to make an impression. You thrive in an atmosphere of excitement and unpredictability.

You are a quick thinking person, rather impulsive in self-expression, even to the point of being rude or cheeky. At the same time you can be humorous and witty and quite a success socially….There is a danger of being far too argumentative in relationships, perhaps because of an innate mental restlessness.

You have a tendency to passionately embrace an ideological viewpoint, and you may wish to preach your views with considerable intensity.

You have an uncanny ability for seeing the weaknesses in others and exploiting them. Your natural psychological talent, your x-ray eyes and hypnotic presence make you an imposing person to deal with. Very little can be concealed from you.

IDENTITY

It is not in your nature to take orders, so if you can't give them, you might prefer to go it alone….At best you are a fearless innovator, who is willing to take a risk to achieve short-term goals. At worst you are impulsive and headstrong.

You have good teaching abilities and would prosper in any position in which you had to get a message across….You are overconcerned with making an impression and like to have the last word. You hate being wrong, and have difficulty admitting it when you are.

You are a hard-working and ambitious person with a strong drive to prove yourself in society….You are often more motivated by the fear of failure than the promise of reward, and this can hold you back from realizing your full potential….You are the kind of person other people can rely on. You would rather be the power behind the throne than have a high profile yourself.

There may be a number of advantages for you in assuming a high profile in connection with specific groups of people. You may be elected as a figurehead, and your personal character can filter down to those you are connected to and have a profound affect on their lives.

EMOTIONS

You feel threatened by change, yet paradoxically are very good at adjusting when changes come. Your work will bring you into contact with the general public.

You have very winning ways with all kinds of people and can gain a great deal of personal popularity. Dealing with others -- particularly the public -- in some way or another, can be an important ingredient in your profession….You have a particular talent for dealing with women, partly because you have an instinctive understanding of their ways. Women can play an important role in your professional advancement -- indeed you may be rather dependent on their goodwill for better or worse. Basically you are a caring and sympathetic person -- and you show it.

You are impatient, but on the other hand you tend to invest your heart and soul into your work and get things done quickly and efficiently. However, you create an atmosphere of tension around you, and are extremely sensitive to criticism.

MENTALITY

You are a very versatile person, combining good judgment with taste and the ability to convey information in a pleasant manner. Success comes when you work with communication in one form or another….Your mild manner and diplomatic nature leaves a good impression on others.

You are very concerned about justice and make a strong effort to see both sides of any issues. You can secure agreement because you are willing to listen to others, and you are careful not to alienate people with impulsive remarks.

One of your great professional assets is your intellectual curiosity and interest in communication and information….You can also be extremely persuasive.

You have some mental qualities that border on genius. Being receptive to signals in the environment that go over the head of the average person, you know how to integrate radical new ideas into your work….It is important for you to learn to put your ideas across in a constructive manner, however. You have a tendency to talk at cross purposes, without ensuring the other person is following you….You can be provocative, or go off at a tangent -- and this may only serve to alienate you. Clarify your intentions when you communicate.

You have a talent for exotic languages.

You have an investigative mind and considerable talent for finding out about hidden issues and analyzing things in depth. You are also good at keeping secrets. As such you are a natural detective and are able to find the root cause of problems….In your professional life, however, you are inclined to be suspicious, fearing that important information is being kept from you. People can feel that you interrogate them, and they tend to clam up.

An inner restlessness will ensure that you either seek a career with a variety of interesting functions, or change jobs at regular intervals. The important thing for you is to get your ideas across in society.

VALUES

Being quite materialistic, you have a strong need for a solid income. Material possessions become a showcase for self-worth. You are however a careful investor, capable of saving up for the things you want.

You will be valued by co-workers for the atmosphere of calm around you.

Although you may be strongly inspired by items of physical beauty, you will rarely be satisfied by material well being alone. You have musical and artistic talents.

You are rather provocative, and your manner evokes resistance or aggression, but this can be okay if you choose employment that requires competing with others.

DRIVES

You are the workaholic type, and can during the course of your life develop an incredible self-discipline….On occasions however, you can be stricken with inertia, and find it very difficult to get started….Try to be motivated by anticipation of future success rather than fear of past difficulties.

You are something of a pioneer, and may embark on dangerous travels to foreign lands.

You can be driven by a nagging dissatisfaction connected with the meaning of what you are doing, and you thrive best when you work creatively or for a cause that transcends material interests. Doing something you believe in is what motivates you. You have strong socialist impulses.

You have the warrior mentality, and tend to go for your goals with irresistible energy and enthusiasm. You will be no stranger to conflict on your way to the top, and this is as much due to your own aggressive attitude as to the behavior of your superiors. You function best when you are master of your own fate. You are suited to any field that requires courage, action and a pioneering attitude. You thrive on competition.

WISDOM

Your provocative views will be a challenge to the establishment. You are an internationalist, and wish to concern yourself with issues that cut across national borders.…You also have strong humanitarian tendencies you may choose to work in a field which has to do with social reform or perhaps consciousness-raising.

CHALLENGES

In your life you are sure to encounter people and organizations that have a powerful position in society, for good or ill….When this influence becomes strong in your life, you will find yourself in a position that requires enormous willpower. This can lead to the overthrow of powerful people, or the collapse and restructuring of powerful institutions. It is your mission to transform the unacceptable use of authority. You also have the capacity to wield power and in doing so reform organizations.

There is a belief in the principles of brotherhood to such an extent that you prefer to give your loyalties to a group or cause rather than to any one individual. You believe in the future and the need for social change and work to eliminate borders and barriers between people and countries.

You have a deep and powerful emotional nature, and are interested in, and concerned about, the feelings of other people. However you only let on how you feel when you are completely secure -- and you are rarely completely secure. Struggling with anxiety of one sort or another is a major pastime, and professionally you may often feel you are fighting for survival. Jealousies and controversy can surround you.

So, there you have it. That's the reading of the astrological birth chart of The Rittenhouse Review, or of the Review and me as a joint-entity, or of me as expressed through the Review.

I thought about adding some running commentary through the text, but decided against it -- the I.R.S.'s clock is ticking, after all -- but if I do, I'll let you know and redirect readers back to this post.