The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Monday, January 05, 2004  

And Taking Names . . . Or at Least Votes

The invaluable web resource known as Media Whores Online is back following a seasonal hiatus.

Praise God, for sites like Media Whores Online are among the few things that keep me sane these days, providing sufficient evidence that, truth be told, I am not living in some bizarre parallel universe where the obvious, the offensive, and the offensively obvious are overlooked by the supposedly well educated zombies defining the national discourse, such as it is.

Better yet, “The Horse” is asking readers to vote for the much-coveted title of “Media Whore of the Year.”

As you would expect, competition is stiff (in alphabetical order): David Brooks, Susan Estrich, Ted Koppel, Charles Krauthammer, Howard Kurtz, Frank Luntz, Zell Miller, Kathleen Parker, Tim Russert, and George Will.

I’m not sure yet who I will vote for.

Kurtz -- a walking, talking, way-too-much talking, mass of conflicted interests -- is just too easy. He abides in a different über-slut category of his very own. He deserves a special lifetime achievement award just for his relentless and shameless pimping of fellow slatterns Mickey Kaus and Andrew Sullivan.

I feel the same about Russert. What a disgrace to the once great name of “Meet the Press.” There are real journalists rolling over in their graves every Sunday morning because of this butt-licking hack.

Estrich would be an interesting choice since she’s relatively new to whoring, her recent propensity for walking the streets so plainly driven by the black hole into which her career otherwise was headed.

Parker? Tempting, but that fag hag, odious as she is -- and I love fag hags -- is but an amateur, out of her league even among this disreputable crew.

Brooks. Well, yes, but I assign more blame to the New York Times editors for his higher profile of late.

I’m pleased to see Koppel on the list. Why the man still has a job is beyond me.

Krauthammer: Despicable, as I’ve said many times before. He’s a disgrace even to his former profession, a gaggle of pseudo-scientific know-nothings with little to show for more than a hundred years of check note-taking.

As for Luntz, I’m still amazed his comments about Americans and the Holocaust, which, best I can tell, he has yet to attribute to polling rather than to his own “expertise,” have received so little attention.

Will? Once a lapdog -- particularly if Nancy Reagan’s lapdog -- always a lapdog. And a morality-for-you adulterous and divorced lapdog as well.

As for Miller, he’s barely a member of the human race as far as I’m concerned. That should be a disqualifying factor, but alas, it is not.

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