The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture


Wednesday, January 28, 2004  

I HAVE THE DATA
Very Impressive

On Monday I told you my newest, my impending, my incipient niece would be greeted, solely on my side of the family, by nine uncles, seven aunts, and 14 cousins.

At the time I was uncertain of the comparable gifts the other side of her new family would offer.

Today, thanks to M.E.C., I have the relevant data: five uncles, five aunts, and 14 cousins.

So, if you’re doing the math at home, that means my newest, my impending, my incipient niece will soon arrive to 14 uncles, 12 aunts, and 28 cousins. (Plus Mildred.)

That’s 54 people. Fifty-four (54). (And one bulldog.)

And then there are grandparents, a species in a class -- a world -- of their very own. And great aunts and great uncles, and really great great aunts and uncles, and second cousins or first cousins once removed, or whatever the hell those people are called, and of them there is a multitude.

Good Lord, fix the girl, fix the girls, a drink.

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