Wednesday, January 21, 2004
OH, MY ACHING GUMS!
Many, many years ago there was a handsome young man who worked, quite briefly, for a company in Washington, D.C., the main products of which were marketed toward the city’s trade associations, lobbyists, political consultants, pollsters, and law firms.
One of our top prospects at the time was the law firm Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld.
The salespeople used to refer to this particularly obstinate and difficult potential customer as, “Oh, my aching gums!”
I thought of this today because my gums are aching. They have been since yesterday.
I’m not sure why. I’m not experiencing a new bout of xerostomia, also known as “dry mouth,” a side effect of one of my medications, and, by the way, a condition that is much more painful -- and damaging to one’s mouth -- than it sounds.
So the hypochondriac in me, which is but one, and a very minor one at that, of my many personalities, is all but convinced I’m developing oral cancer. And he’s ready to blame it on my smoking.
God, I hope he’s wrong. Not necessarily about the smoking, but about the cancer. (Regardless, I will quit smoking this year.)
Several weeks ago some friends gave me, as a Christmas present, a carton of cigarettes. Very much appreciated in these cash-strapped times, I assure you. But having ready access to that carton proved, among other things, that when one has an ample supply of tobacco at home, and thus has no need to buy a pack of cigarettes a day, the money one carries about in one’s wallet lasts much, much longer. (And in case you were wondering, yes, in the event I develop emphysema, lung cancer, or some other disorder, these friends will be on the list of named defendants.)
Of course, I also need to get to the dentist. It’s been an embarrassing -- humiliating, really -- three years for me. In that I am not so different from Caroline Payne, the subject of an extraordinary feature article in Sunday’s New York Times Magazine -- “A Poor Cousin of the Middle Class,” by David K. Shipler -- about whom I wrote yesterday and for whom I offered last evening’s prayers.
[Note: This post originally was published at TRR: The Lighter Side of Rittenhouse.]
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JAMES MARTIN CAPOZZOLA
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James Martin (Jim) Capozzola launched The Rittenhouse Review in April 2002, TRR: The Lighter Side of Rittenhouse, HorowitzWatch, and Smarter Andrew Sullivan in July 2002, and Bulldogs for Kerry-Edwards in October 2004. He is also a contributing member of President Boxer.
He received the 2002 Koufax Award for Best Post> for "Al Gore and the Alpha Girls" (published November 25, 2002). Capozzola's record in the Koufax Awards includes two additional nominations for 2002 (Best Blog and Best Writing), three nominations for 2003 (Best Blog, Best Series, and Best Writing), and two finalist nominations in 2004 (Best Blog and Best Writing).
Capozzola’s experience beyond the blogosphere includes a lengthy career in financial journalism, securities analysis, and investment research, and in freelance writing, editing, ghost-writing, and writing instruction.
He earned his bachelor's degree in political science from the University at Albany and a master's in foreign affairs from the University of Virginia.
Capozzola lives in Philadelphia with his bulldog, Mildred.
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