Thursday, February 12, 2004
BRING YOUR OWN PEANUTS
And a Dr. Seuss Moment
I don’t think flight attendants should distribute beverages, meals, or snacks.
Ever.
Not on short flights. Not on long flights. Not on big flights. Not on small flights. Not on any flights at all.
(Sorry, I had a Dr. Seuss moment there. I’m back now.)
Why not? Because that’s not why flight attendants are on the plane. That -- serving beverages, meals, and snacks -- is not why they are, well, attending flights.
All of those tired, old, stupid, frat-boy, and moronic stewardess jokes aside, the primary reason airlines staff flight attendants, and are legally required to do so, is not to make pasty businessmen feel good about their self-important frequent-flying selves, but for the safety of the passengers -- all passengers, not just the self-important frequent-flying pasty businessmen.
Until a few years ago, this concept of safety, which I think most travelers grasped at least to some degree, largely addressed such things as air masks -- “Help yourself before helping the child next to you.” Or is it, “Help the child next to you before helping yourself?” It’s been a while. -- seat-cushion floatation devices, emergency-exit rows, and all of that kind of not so believable stuff about “an incident over water.”
As we learn, or are allowed to learn, slowly and begrudgingly, more about what really happened on September 11, 2001, it becomes obvious that the attention of flight attendants should not be diverted, at any moment, from anything other than the safety of all passengers.
Flight attendants like Amy Sweeney and Betty Ong are, and I hate to sound like some puffy-chested congressman in front of a TV news camera, literally on the front line when it comes to potential, possible, and all-too-real acts of terrorism.
So I say toss the beverage carts. Ditch the dopey drinks. Lose the lunches.
It’s not necessary to militarize the operation -- Sweeney and Ong proved that -- but let’s have the flight attendants focus on safety, not snacks.
I know, you like the peanuts, don’t you?
Bring your own.
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JAMES MARTIN CAPOZZOLA
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James Martin (Jim) Capozzola launched The Rittenhouse Review in April 2002, TRR: The Lighter Side of Rittenhouse, HorowitzWatch, and Smarter Andrew Sullivan in July 2002, and Bulldogs for Kerry-Edwards in October 2004. He is also a contributing member of President Boxer.
He received the 2002 Koufax Award for Best Post> for "Al Gore and the Alpha Girls" (published November 25, 2002). Capozzola's record in the Koufax Awards includes two additional nominations for 2002 (Best Blog and Best Writing), three nominations for 2003 (Best Blog, Best Series, and Best Writing), and two finalist nominations in 2004 (Best Blog and Best Writing).
Capozzola’s experience beyond the blogosphere includes a lengthy career in financial journalism, securities analysis, and investment research, and in freelance writing, editing, ghost-writing, and writing instruction.
He earned his bachelor's degree in political science from the University at Albany and a master's in foreign affairs from the University of Virginia.
Capozzola lives in Philadelphia with his bulldog, Mildred.
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