The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Wednesday, February 11, 2004  

Friend of Mary

Uh-oh, that crazy liberal nut Michael Bloomberg, Republican mayor of New York, is at it again, worrying and fretting about the nation’s favorite recreational device, handguns, and pistol-packin’ mamma Michelle, also known, at least around here, as Weird Michelle Malkin, is almost as upset about this as she might otherwise be upon learning that a single mother from some darkie kinda country like the Congo or Bolivia or something might actually be on the verge of U.S. citizenship without her prior expressed and written authorization.

Malkin, who last week expounded upon the wholly fictionary notion of “politically correct” vaccines, today discusses, or at least dribbles upon, something she has decided to call, without, of course, defining it, the “politically incorrect constituency [of] ordinary gun owners,” because, as you well know, everybody is just trampling all over their stuff.

Malkin, as you might expect, is even more clueless about the popular culture than I am, referring in this column, as she does, to the thoroughly and justifiably forgotten Ted Nugent as a “provocateur/rocker,” and that without alerting readers to which of those characterizations is the more outdated and the more inaccurate, while at the same time seemingly approving of that has-been’s (never was?) assertion that he would happily sport the “Confederate flag,” meaning, I think, as a wardrobe accessory, “forever.” Put the “Stars & Bars” on Michelle’s forehead!

Now, I just want you to know that Michelle is very, very unhappy about the notion that she and her friends and family -- immigrants, I note in passing -- might not be able to travel up and down the island of Manhattan, or even out to the boroughs, without packin’ heat.

How do I know? Well, just read this: “So what does Republican In Name Only Mayor Bloomberg think of all this? He told New York magazine that all of the NRA leaders’ comments were ‘reprehensible.’ In an interview with New York radio station WLIB on Tuesday, he basically gave rank-and-file gun owners the bird.”


Even at Rittenhouse we don’t talk like that.

Clean it up, Michelle!

After that it’s mostly put-your-gun-in-your-purse-and-walk-proudly-and-truly-Republican kind of stuff. Mrs. _____ [Sorry, can’t say that.], please call your office.

How sad for Malkin. Her only “arguments” are just sorry repetitions of those we have heard all too often from the likes of her good friend and colleague, Mary Rosh. And where did that get anyone?

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