Ed Feulner, president of the Heritage Foundation and “editor” of Townhall.com, is trolling about cyberspace with hat in hand, today distributing an e-mail to thousands of his friends, including The Rittenhouse Review, seeking $25, $50, or $100 from each reader in order to, in his own words, “keep Townhall.com on the web.”

I think I’ll let World O’ Crap dissect Feulner’s missive, but his appeal on behalf of the apparently cash-starved Townhall.com -- with its talk of facing “a growing threat of online sabotage from the ‘angry left’” and the need to “strengthen the Townhall.com site to protect against liberal ‘hackers’ who try to shut us down and shut us up with the click of a mouse” -- is just too precious not to share with you, my friends.

The full text is presented below:

Friend,

I’m Ed Feulner, president of The Heritage Foundation.

Heritage launched Townhall.com almost 10 years ago. Thanks to your loyalty and support, Townhall.com has pioneered conservatism online. It’s grown from an online start-up to an Internet powerhouse with over 1.5 million readers each month and is continuing to grow.

But our work is far from over. And Townhall.com needs your support now more than ever.

While our troops wage war against terrorists, we conservatives are in a battle of our own – a fight against liberal extremists right here at home.

These extremists are working to undermine the war on terrorism and destroy America’s reputation and credibility around the world.

They seek to destroy the bedrock values of marriage, family and freedom that are the very foundation of our country.

The liberals’ weapons? Activist judges who rewrite laws from the bench. Domination of the main stream news media and entertainment industry. Unprecedented power over America’s classrooms and universities.

The liberal extremists will stop at nothing to attack America’s founding principles and weaken America’s sovereignty. I’m counting on you to do everything you can to help Townhall.com STOP them.

I hope you will make an online contribution to Townhall.com today.

Townhall.com is the liberals’ worst nightmare. Through opinion columns, policy briefings and breaking news alerts, Townhall.com unleashes our best weapon: the FACTS.

And that’s just the beginning. Townhall.com’s up-to-the-minute C-Log is the conservative blog. Our national Meetups connect conservatives at the local level and help them change the world one community at a time. Our online chats put you in touch with conservative leaders.

None of these features would exist without the generous support of conservatives just like you.

That’s why your support today is essential to Townhall.com. Without you on our side, we cannot stop the liberals who will do and say anything to tear our nation apart.

We’re already seeing just how low liberals will stoop to slander conservatives and our policies.

And we’re already seeing Townhall.com’s effectiveness in setting the record straight…

While Hillary Clinton is smearing President Bush’s reputation in the Middle East by telling a foreign-based Arab newspaper the President is “stubborn” and “arrogant”

…while Ted Kennedy shamefully compares America’s brave troops to Saddam Hussein’s murderous henchmen…

…Townhall.com is offering up-to-the-minute commentary on how to win the War on Terror, protect our troops and strengthen our military.

While liberals are accusing conservatives of plotting to “eliminate Social Security”…

…Townhall.com is offering straightforward facts and figures showing how personal retirement accounts will empower individuals and save Social Security.

While the liberals are branding as “tyranny” President Bush’s constitutional duty to nominate judges…

…Townhall.com is alerting the nation to the dangers of judicial activism and the urgent need for responsible judges who respect our U.S. Constitution.

While the liberals are dismissing tax cuts as “heartless,” “irresponsible” and “immoral”…

…Townhall.com is providing proof that tax cuts are the key to boosting our economy and giving ALL taxpayers more control of their own money.

I hope you’ll do whatever you can – whether it’s $25, $50 $100 or even more – to keep Townhall.com on the web and on the warpath against the liberals’ distortions.

Remember: A stronger Townhall.com means a stronger conservative movement. And Townhall.com can continue to grow stronger and stronger only through your support.

Townhall.com already reaches 1.5 million people each month! As we earn more notoriety, we welcome more and more visitors. Townhall.com must have the resources to constantly improve our site and capitalize on this unprecedented opportunity to explain our conservative ideas.

You can make that happen today.

As Townhall.com grows more influential, we face a growing threat of online sabotage from the “angry left.” We must strengthen the Townhall.com site to protect against liberal “hackers” who try to shut us down and shut us up with the click of a mouse.

You can make that happen today.

As the liberals unleash a flood of propaganda about our conservative policies, we must fight them at every turn. We must add more columnists. Recruit more conservative groups. Host more online chats. Schedule more Meetups. We must do everything we can.

You can make that happen today.

We conservatives are in a fight we cannot lose. I hope you’ll give whatever you can to help Townhall.com win this fight. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Ed Feulner, President

The Heritage Foundation

P.S. Talk radio legend Rush Limbaugh says it best: “Townhall.com is must reading for conservatives who want to make a difference.” You can make a difference today by supporting Townhall.com’s election-year strategies and technologies – from our influential columnists and member groups to breaking news updates, Meetups and online chats. Your support makes these features possible. Please send whatever you can. Thank you!

Now, is this the same Townhall.com that publishes such luminaries as Mike Adams, Gary Aldrich, Mark Alexander, Doug Bandow, Michael Barone, Bruce Bartlett, Tony Blankley, Neal Boortz, Brent Bozell, Peter Brookes, Jay Bryant, Pat Buchanan, William F. Buckley, Neil Cavuto, Mona Charen, Linda Chavez, Chuck Colson, Ward Connerly, Ann Coulter, Helle Dale, Larry Elder, Edwin J. Feulner, Suzanne Fields, Frank J. Gaffney Jr., Maggie Gallagher, Doug Giles, Jonah Goldberg, Paul Greenberg, Rebecca Hagelin, David Horowitz, Dexter Ingram, Paul Jacob, Jeff Jacoby, Terence Jeffrey, Jack Kemp, Charles Krauthammer, Larry Kudlow, John Leo, David Limbaugh, Rich Lowry, Ross Mackenzie, Michelle Malkin, Clifford D. May, John McCaslin, Joel Mowbray, Bill Murchison, Oliver North, Robert Novak, Marvin Olasky, Kathleen Parker, Dennis Prager, Alan Reynolds, Paul Craig Roberts, Debra Saunders, Phyllis Schlafly, Thomas Sowell, Jacob Sullum, Mark Tapscott, Cal Thomas, Matt Towery, Rich Tucker, Emmett Tyrrell, Malcolm Wallop, Jude Wanniski, Diana West, George Will, Armstrong Williams, and Walter Williams?

That Townhall.com?

Near as I can tell, though there may be a stray in that list somewhere, every one of Townhall.com’s contributors is employed at, and draws his or her paycheck from, an entity other than the needy Townhall.com.

So, aside from the incremental costs associated with servers and other technological goods already in place at the Heritage Foundation, on what, exactly, are the drunken sailors at Townhall.com spending readers’ hard-earned money?

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