The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Wednesday, June 09, 2004  

And It Was O.K.

One of the interesting aspects of the latest diet fad -- low carb/high protein/fat fat fat -- is that some of my favorite foods, things I for too long was ashamed to eat in private, let alone in public, are now acceptable, chic even.

Case in point: Slim Jims.

I recently watched an exceptionally -- inordinately, even -- handsome 20-something young man devour, with nary a speck of self-consciousness whatsoever, four Slim Jims, his only fault being the failure to offer even a bite to Mildred, who was sitting in the back seat of the Jaguar.

Ah, memories.

During my teenage years I ate, among many other things, Slim Jims by the yard while manning the cash register at my father’s supermarket.

Like most of us, back then I could eat anything, anytime, with no thought to the short- or long-term repercussions of my diet.

It’s different now. I’m so much more careful.

No. I’m lying. I last weighed in at 125 pounds. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want. Or, at least, whatever I can afford, including today, a Slim Jim.

And so, have at it, people. Whatever it takes, whatever you need, whatever you want. Promise me one thing: If you don’t like, or you disapprove of, what I’m eating, just shut the hell up.

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