The Rittenhouse Review

A Philadelphia Journal of Politics, Finance, Ethics, and Culture

Friday, July 09, 2004  

It’s Free

Call 1 (800) 839-5276.

Ask for Senator Arlen Specter (R-Pa.).

They may tell you his line is busy.

They really might. I know it’s 2004 and everything, and nobody ever gets or gives a busy signal anymore, so ask them to keep trying.

Here are some Pennsylvania hometowns, one of which you might want to adopt before you call: Allentown, Altoona, Bethlehem, Bird in Hand, Easton, Economy, Egypt, Erie, Fairchance, Harrisburg, Intercourse, Jim Thorpe, Jersey Shore, Johnstown, King of Prussia, Lancaster, Lover, Mexico, New Hope, Oil City, Paint, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Scranton, Spry, Stalker, State College, Walnut Bottom, Wilkes-Barre [Careful! Tricky pronunciation.], Williamsport, Wyoming, York.

Just pick one. It’s fun. And if you think right wingers don’t do this every day . . .

[Post-publication addendum: By the way, as of 2:15 p.m. (Eastern time, of course) today, “the senator” still hadn’t decided how he will vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment. Go ahead, click through to the link. It’s not what you think.]

[Post-publication addendum: I just called the office of Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.). I was informed Sen. Mikulski is opposed and will vote against.]

[Post-publication addendum: Yeah, I lied. I said I was from Towson.]

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