I’ll bet you thought I forgot. No, I just had to get out of the house for a while this afternoon, so, I’m sorry, “How Do You Get to Rittenhouse?” is a little late today. For readers not familiar, this is a “Friday Fun” feature serving up just a sampling of searches that recently brought visitors to The Rittenhouse Review. And, so, here we go, from the ridiculous to the sublime and back again:

brie pictures cheez
Please, please tell me this search didn’t originate within the kitchens of Kraft Foods.

brian boitano moonie
I believe the preferred term is...I don’t know what the preferred term is. Unificationite? I haven’t a clue about Brian, beyond the obvious, but I’ve heard his brother, Mark Boitano, is a member of the church.

peggy siegel [sic] allure magazine
Oh, wait, I get it now. Someone’s looking for “Peggy Siegal + Allure magazine.” For a second I thought s/he was searching for “Peggy Siegal allure + magazine.” That was a close one.

condoleezza rice reference to bush as “husband”
Ah, pillow talk as Google search. We have entered a new age.

i can kill a whole hennessy fifth some say its a problem i call it a gift
Um, I’m just guessing here, but most likely it’s a problem. Even if inherited.

jessica savitch meltdown
The tragedy that won’t go away until someone (and I mean me) gets his hands on a videotape of the incident. (I saw the meltdown myself when it happened, but it’s been a while.)

adam bonin jennifer weiner photographs
First, I’m assuming the searcher is interested in something sweet like wedding photos. If not, forget it. If so, I’m supposed to pop in on Adam Bonin next week. I’ll ask, but I’ve heard they’re rather low profile generally. (And why not? She’s already got a backlist that would drive F. Scott Fitzgerald to drink.)

rules of juvenile behavior in shopping malls
Take it from a grouchy old man: Just leave them at home and forget about the rules.

peter bacanovic croat
It’s that tricky ending “c” without the “h,” isn’t it?

peter bacanovic serb
Second try, I’ll bet.

peter bacanovic ethnic
Third try, I’m sure, and this time working from the specific to the general.

rittenhouse hospital
Rittenhouse Hospital doesn’t exist, unless of course you have trouble in your mind distinguishing television from real life. (No smart cracks directed at me, okay?) Instead, it’s the name of the hospital in the LifetimeTV series “Strong Medicine,” a pretty good show (I just said that? I’ve got to move off Channel 18, and fast!) set in Philadelphia but filmed elsewhere. (And how lame is that anyway? Oh well, they do it all the time, and NBC is doing it again this year with its summer series “The Days,” set in suburban Philadelphia but filmed in Vancouver, B.C. At least CBS had the guts --and I mean that -- to film “Hack” on location in Philadelphia.)

where to go for happy hour in rittenhouse square
Pretty much anyplace. If you want to be miserable.

rogue in rittenhouse square
No doubt the same inquirer who engaged in the preceding. Tip to the searcher: If you’re wandering lost around Rittenhouse Square this evening, ask for Rouge, not Rogue.

[Post-publication addendum: Have you hit the Rittenhouse tip box lately? It’s sitting, awfully lonely, in the sidebar at right, under the heading “Summer Drive.” Thanks a million. No, thanks a few bucks.]

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