Tuesday, July 13, 2004
MILDRED’S SHARE
They’re Approaching Negotiations
Whether They Like It or Not
As noted here previously, the house in which I’m currently living, in Society Hill, Philadelphia, is on the market for $1,600,000.00. (N.B.: I get none of this. I’ve earned none of this. I deserve none of this. I’m what’s best called a “hanger on.” And if you say “moocher,” well, I’ll cut you off. But I can’t really do that, can I, this site being free and all?)
Since there’s no exclusive, the customary six-percent realtors’ commission, normally reduced to five percent in what these people like (or get really, really excited about) calling “the upper brackets,” typically is reduced to five percent.
Now, my bulldog, Mildred, during the numerous (multiple, constant, ongoing, seemingly unending) showings of said “million-six” property, has proved herself to be a major selling point among more than a majority of prospects.
(Hint: Once you get above “a million two,” you encounter a large number of doggie people. Mostly on the wifely side. Today’s prospect proof in point.)
I didn’t say anything at first, and I still haven’t, but as we approach closing, which I expect will occur before or by mid-August, I’ve always known Mildred could be, would be, a major asset. She has not done me wrong.
And so I’m writing up a little agreement. In the event a prospect, or more important, the buyer, gushes at closing or previously has gushed about Mildred, we’re asking for a 0.25 percent finders’ fee.
You don’t like it? See you in court. (And we’re open to a modest settlement.)
Before I get sued, file under: humor; see also: parody.
[Post-publication addendum: Have you hit the Rittenhouse tip box lately? It’s sitting, awfully lonely, in the sidebar at right, under the heading “Summer Drive.” Thanks a million. No . . . thanks a few bucks.]
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JAMES MARTIN CAPOZZOLA
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James Martin (Jim) Capozzola launched The Rittenhouse Review in April 2002, TRR: The Lighter Side of Rittenhouse, HorowitzWatch, and Smarter Andrew Sullivan in July 2002, and Bulldogs for Kerry-Edwards in October 2004. He is also a contributing member of President Boxer.
He received the 2002 Koufax Award for Best Post> for "Al Gore and the Alpha Girls" (published November 25, 2002). Capozzola's record in the Koufax Awards includes two additional nominations for 2002 (Best Blog and Best Writing), three nominations for 2003 (Best Blog, Best Series, and Best Writing), and two finalist nominations in 2004 (Best Blog and Best Writing).
Capozzola’s experience beyond the blogosphere includes a lengthy career in financial journalism, securities analysis, and investment research, and in freelance writing, editing, ghost-writing, and writing instruction.
He earned his bachelor's degree in political science from the University at Albany and a master's in foreign affairs from the University of Virginia.
Capozzola lives in Philadelphia with his bulldog, Mildred.
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