Speaking of Midge Decter -- and we were -- if you're not familiar with the September 1980 essay Decter submitted to and saw published in her husband's magazine, Commentary, the psychotic rant going by the name of "The Boys on the Beach," and you haven't read said illucid stupidity and would like a copy of the article, simply send me an e-mail and it's all yours.

Meanwhile, hang on until September 2005, at which time I hope a reputable publication will publish my own work, the 25th anniversary response to "The Boys on the Beach," tentatively entitled, "The Jews on the Beach."

Outraged by the very notion?

You should be.

I am.

Of course, right-wing "Democrat" Decter's career suffered no adverse consequences from her Commentary essay, a little schwitzing in which she bashed gays as funny yet reprehensible losers deserving the death she was sure lied in their immediate future.

I'm still alive, 25 years after collecting Decter's drool on my daily refreshed handkerchief (John, Paul, and Neil are with me on that one, or at least can confirm my carrying of same. And Neil is a Jew!), and I can't imagine Mrs. Podhoretz, swooning as she does and has over Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld -- so much better looking than Mr. Norman Moshe Decter Podhoretz -- is particularly pleased about that.

Regardless, something tells me that if I were to dare write "The Jews on the Beach," a piece far from the reach and type of my customary work, I would be in big trouble, even if I were to leave out the stuff about volleyball and Mah Jongg.

[Post-publication addendum: Copyright laws allow me to share Miss Decter's outrageously homophobic, unconscionably anti-gay, and scared-as-hell-at-the-time-that-my-son-might-be-a-faggot essay, "The Boys on the Beach," with my friends. If you're my friend and would like a copy of this article, please send an e-mail to your friend at The Rittenhouse Review.]

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