I recently took one of those online "personality" tests, and given the subject, "How Stereotypically Gay Are You?", I guess I sort of failed miserably or passed -- ahem -- with crazy flying rainbow colors.

Meanwhile, my friend and co-worker, K.B., a straight woman, came out -- Get it? -- as 54 percent gay, and therefore much, much gayer than I am, and, if you knew her, you would say that completely makes sense. You know, her whole theater thing and all.

Is it any wonder I never meet anyone?

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There's a new addition to the blogroll, Altmouse, which is not the blog of Ann Althouse, the intellectually challenged and unbearably petulant professor of law toiling somewhere in what we Easterners used to call the Northwest Territories, because they are so, so far left away from here.

Granted, Altmouse is generally, until just recently, an even less active blogger than I am, but what with all the folderol this week, it just seems so very apt and timely.

I suppose having chose Altmouse over Althouse for the blogroll I've displayed unconscionable partisanship, what with all the picking and choosing involved, but I feel that I have made the right choice, because it is important to make determinations based on quality, and quality is an important characteristic of almost anything, something that we must look for, in persons, places, and things. Nouns. And string. String is a noun. And nouns are parts of speech. Parts of speech are to be respected, if for no other reason that there are so many of them. Nouns. Verbs. Adjectives. There are even things called adverbs. This is remarkable. And there is no reason to disagree with that.

Ann, you see, just hates it when people talk blog about her behind her back in the girls' room blogosphere and then don't have the courtesy to link to her site when they're doing it! Especially people like Andrew Sullivan. So detestable, he, I agree, and notice: No link for him! And Ann's readers concur, because Sullivan is, you know, teh gay.

Amazingly, Ann has the nerve to cite her hero, Insta-Linker Glenn Rehnolds in support of her stance, the same Glenn who, whenever he has written about me, has not only not linked to this blog, but hasn't had the courtesy to spell my last name correctly.

Figures.

You know, there are nine whole letters and four entire syllables in that last name of mine.

So complicated. So difficult. So foreign. No wonder some people call him Insta-Cracker.

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Oh-so-reasonable David Broder of the Washington Post today bids a fond and misty farewell to defeated Iowa Congressman Jim Leach (R) in a piece fittingly entitled "A Veteran Moderate Moves On."

Aren't all moderates of the "veteran" sort anyway? I mean, what with everybody these days, especially the crass political parvenus and the deeply unserious bloggers, being so shrill and partisan?

So how did someone so wise and trustworthy as Leach come to so horrific a defeat? Broder -- and possibly Leach also, it's not clear -- blames online poker players:

[T]his year two special factors helped tip the balance against him. First, he became a target for crafting the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, which passed Congress as part of a larger bill in October and was signed into law just before the election.

The Poker Players Alliance, which had fought the measure banning banks and credit card companies from servicing Internet gambling firms, targeted Leach and other sponsors with e-mails to its members and publicity in poker magazines. A post-election survey paid for by the gambling group found a net 5-point swing against Leach attributable to that issue.

Could online gamblers really be this powerful in Iowa? A "net 5-point swing against Leach," based on 208,483 votes cast in Iowa's second congressional district, would mean more than 10,000 voters there were swayed toward the winner, Dave Loesback, by this particular issue.

That sounds highly unlikely to me. Of course, if you read carefully the last sentence of the pull quote above you will notice that the source for this alleged fact is a "post-election survey paid for by the gambling group." And they wouldn't have any interest in exaggerating their influence, would they?

Ah, the mysterious and complicated ways of Washington. Tell us more, David. Teach us some.

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Martin Peretz just keeps on giving. Here he is in a Spine post called "Giving Advice":

My friend Avi Shavit is a brilliantly original journalist, and he has written a brilliantly original article in Thursday's Haaretz. [. . .]

Shavit calls his piece "JUST DO IT."

Now that's brilliant. And original.

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I'm still getting a big kick out of Martin Peretz's new blog, The Spine, what with all the gratuitously snide and racist remarks directed against Arabs (here is a fresh one -- Some Arabs are rich!), the posts that reveal an astonishing ignorance of the topic at hand (e.g., the history of Catholic higher education in America), and the near illiteracy displayed in so many posts, of which this recent item about Tom Wolfe is an excellent example :

I am one of those who believes that Tom Wolfe is among the most penetrating and understandably literate social observers and social commentators of the age. Actually, you have to go back to Thorstein Veblen to read someone so evocative of the realities--sometimes grim, sometimes silly--amidst which we live. And as for a readability comparison you may have to go back to the English novelists of the nineteenth century. It's not only The Bonfire of the Vanities, which, in its day, touched on matters that were taboo, is correct society. It's also his occasional journalism, a journalism that does evoke someone else, H.L. Mencken.

There's much to wade through there: "understandably literate," "the realities . . . amidst which we live," "a readability comparison." And then my favorite sentence of all: "It's not only The Bonfire of the Vanities, which, in its day, touched on matters that were taboo, is correct society." Go ahead, read that last sentence again. I gave it three tries and came away with nothing each time.

Someone please call the copy desk.

[Post-publication addendum (November 29): Bonus! Good old reliable Marty then follows up with "Carter's Legacy," in which he begins, "You may think that I am obsessed with Israel and the Middle East," and then adds: "But have you noticed Jimmy Carter's obsession with the same subjects? He's not only obsessed but also really doesn't know what he's talking about. Forgive me: I believe he feels deep rancor towards the Jews and deeper rancor towards Israel. And those feelings give him all the knowledge he thinks he needs. Maybe it comes from his mother. Or maybe it comes from his brother. But, wherever it comes from, it is now a part of his life and his legacy. That's how he will go down in history: as a Jew hater." Speaks for itself, I think. Or rather, mumbles along with a certain paranoid incoherence, as usual.]

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The reason I ask is because Winnie Hu apparently spent 36 hours in Philadelphia on the New York Times's dime and, judging from her piece for the Sunday travel section, she pretty much missed the whole thing.

Perhaps one day a travel writer will visit Philadelphia and manage to get in and out of town without eating a cheesesteak. You know, we don't live on them down here. I can't remember the last time I had one.

Meanwhile, the usual has-been/never-was stuff: South Street. La Colombe. Penn's Landing. Penn's Landing?!

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I know everyone already has had at this photograph from today's New York Times -- it's a genuine classic, after all -- but I can't help myself.

Let's listen in.

Chilean President Michelle Bachelet: Do these jammies make my butt look fat?

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper: Uh, no, Shelley, no. No, not at all! Hey, is that an oatmeal stain down there? Or is it . . . oh, never mind.

Bachelet: Are you sure? And what's with the hat? Did they borrow this from Posh Spice? [Ed.: Scroll down for the photo of Victoria Beckham in the hat.] Why aren't you wearing one?

Harper: I have good hair. For a Canadian, eh?

That scintillating interchange was followed by this one:

U.S. President Frat Boy: Vladdy-boy, get a load of the fat ass on Michelle! . . . Wait, wait! Pull my finger!

Russian President Vladimir Putin: Finger stuff? Not so funny first time. No funny now. You know, "Fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." Whatever! I hear too you have problem journalists. I say, shoot, kill. No question later.

And thus is international diplomacy accomplished.

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It's already a two-man race for the Democratic nomination for the 2007 mayoral race, with former City Council member Michael Nutter and Rep. Chaka Fattah having declared their candidacies, the latter announcing his intentions just two days ago.

Today's Metro, the giveaway "newspaper" that can almost kill my 15-minute morning ride on the El, quotes Fattah:

We're saying that really we think the city's future is inextricably intertwined with the life chances of people themselves who are Philadelphians.

Huh?

Keep talking like that and it's going to be a long campaign.

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Improbable Nobel Peace Prize winner, wanted war criminal under travel restrictions ("Sir, please avoid Spain and any Latin American country the name of which ends in a vowel, or we think, in the case of Brazil, with an 'l'."), and Bush administration advisor Henry Kissinger speaks about the quagmire known as Iraq:

If you mean, by "military victory," an Iraqi government that can be established and whose writ runs across the whole country, that gets the civil war under control and sectarian violence under control in a time period that the political processes of the democracies will support, I don't believe that is possible.

Henry, of all people, knows from failure. After all, remember when he was considered a "sex symbol"?

No? Well, it was the '70s and I was but a child, thank God. Still I can recall all that . . . something to do with Jill Clayburgh, I think, believe it or not.

Oh, right, and Vietnam, too. Don't forget Vietnam. Vietnam is a big part of the whole failure mystique.

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I just heard an announcer on Philadelphia's KYW News Radio (1060 AM) say, "The president is spending his first night in Vietnam."

Well, yes, I suppose President Sheltered Existence is doing just that, isn't he?

And isn't this headline from KYW, "Bush Says Vietnam War Offers Lesson for Iraq: Don't Quit," just, I don't know, precious delusional?

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Just when you thought there could be no form of human life lower than O.J. Simpson, along comes Judith Regan to prove you wrong.

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"Community member" Tracey Gordon, at a Philadelphia City Council committee hearing considering the subject of the cleanliness, or lack thereof, of restaurants and take-out establishments here, as reported by KYW News Radio (1060 AM):

There is no way that the Health Department is regulating these stores. They are dirty. You only have to go into the store. You could be Stevie Wonder-blind and see how filthy dirty these establishments are.

Lord, let the woman next speak about the lunch trucks!

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Don't get any ideas looking at this item over at Gawker, you wacky and a little worried journalists at the Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News.

I know I don't want to see a photograph of newly reelected Gov. Ed Rendell (D) standing on a beach somewhere. Anywhere.

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So the father of a couple of friends -- Knute, they call him -- is a veteran of the Battle of the Bulge.

As far as I'm concerned, that's about as esteemed and honorable as you can get these days. Naturally, then, I agreed to attend this afternoon the annual reunion/scholarship-fundraiser event of the Philadelphia-area veterans of the battle held at this place that's a bar, restaurant, and catering hall.

I get there and I find the room, and I guess because there are other events going on, the woman at the table wants to make sure I'm in the right place. As a result, the following conversation ensues.

Woman at Desk: "Are you here for the Battle of the Bulge?"

Jim: "Excuse me?"

Woman at Desk: "Are you here for the Battle of the Bulge?"

Jim: "Do I look like I'm headed to a Weight Watchers meeting? I'm looking for the veterans."

Ba-da-boom.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

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Democrat Michael Arcuri Tuesday defeated Republican Raymond Meier for a hotly contested seat in Upstate New York, that being vacated by retiring Republican moderate -- and it was actually true in this case, both the retiring and the moderate thing -- Sherwood Boehlert, making Arcuri, who was a year ahead of me at Albany, the "first Democrat in Congress from the Mohawk Valley since . . . John Davies, [who] served in the House from 1949 until 1951," according to the Utica Observer-Dispatch.

I'm telling you now: Keep an eye on this guy. Good things are ahead for Arcuri, for those he represents now and for those he will represent in the future.

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Here's Mrs. Kathryn Jean Lopez Lopez, an editor (seriously) at National Review and huge fan of Ricky Santorum.

For what it's worth: The Santorum folks say they made 380,000 new voter contacts this weekend. Even if you're not a "raging Santorum enthusiast," [!] get him reelected for the dramatic, way [sic] interesting news story it will be. Do it to see the shocked expressions on anchors' faced [sic].

Not to worry, Kath, we're all over that. All over it, you'll be, um, pleasured pleased to know.

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At least two comic strips are providing some welcome relief during this, the silly season of politics.

Today, in Pearls Before Swine, Rat debates Croc.

And at Get Fuzzy, Satchel votes by absentee ballot.

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If you thought the gang from Commentary was scary at the start of the Bush administration, or back during the Cold War, well, these days you will find them downright petrifying.

The November issue, just out, features two pieces of insane fire-up-the-cannons-because-Israel-(and its allies, don't forget the allies, which means, I think, the U.S.)-despite-its-massive-army-and-all-of-its-nuclear-weapons-might-someday-feel-threatened-or-more-likely-just-be-a-little-bit-irritated-or-annoyed war mongering: "Getting Serious About Iran: Regime Change," by someone named Amir Taheri, and "Getting Serious About Iran: A Military Option," by a person called Arthur Herman.

Hide the kids. Seriously.

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Insta-Linker has better gaydar than I do!

Hmmm . . . Because, you know, those guys are always so easy to pick off and also, you know, so excited and exuberant. (Usually, though, they have better hair. And they usually don't approvingly quote deranged -- and "perverted," her self-referential word, not mine -- homophobes like LaShawn Barber.)

Sure, you've seen the photo now, and I know what you're thinking, but we don't talk that way around here.

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Pennsylvania's second-most despicable senator, Arlen Specter, is out today with radio ads, heard just now on KYW Radio (Philadelphia, AM 1060), a death rattle plainly (and thankfully) evident in his sickening and sickened voice, speaking in support of Pennsylvania's most detestable senator, Rick Santorum, focusing on, of all things, Santorum's "support" -- Arly's term, not mine -- for, get this, stem cell research.

God almighty! This is the same Specter, who, you won't be surprised to learn if you know anything about this snake, two years ago managed to con actor Michael J. Fox into supporting his slimy campaign against the far superior Joe Hoeffel.

I assume Arly sleeps well at night. A little Nembutal or Seconal can help with that, I'm told. It would take something that strong to be able to wake up and spew the lies this single-bullet character, and fan of murderer Ira Einhorn, is peddling on Ricky's behalf.

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I didn't attend Georgia. I'm not from Georgia. I'm not sure I even like Georgia, though I like plenty of people I know who live there. Still, I never get tired of reading about or looking at photographs of the Ugas, the university's English bulldog mascots. The latest incarnation, Uga VI, shown in a photo accompanying "It's All About Puttin' on the Dog" by Bob Ryan in the Boston Globe (October 15), is an exceptionally attractive representation of the breed, I must say.

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Local Democrats are promoting several upcoming appearances by candidates for the Senate and the House this weekend, by which time, one would think, the media will have moved beyond its current "All Kerry, All the Time" mindset:

Bob Casey and Patrick Murphy, appearing with former Vice President Al Gore and Gov. Ed Rendell: Saturday, November 4, at 8:00 a.m. at the Boilmaker's Union Local Hall 13, 2300 New Falls Road in Newportville.

Casey and Murphy with Rendell: Saturday, November 4, at 5:30 p.m. at Central Bucks High School West, 375 West Court Street in Doylestown.

Casey and Murphy with Rendell and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.): Saturday, November 4, at 3:30 p.m. at the Keswick Theatre in Glenside.

Casey and Lois Murphy with Gore and Rendell: Saturday, November 4, 11:00 a.m. at Kerr Park Pavilion in Downingtown.

Casey and Lois Murphy with Obama and Rendell: Saturday, November 4, at 2:00 p.m. at the George Washington Carver Community Center in Norristown.

Joe Sestak and Casey with Gore and Rendell: Saturday, November 4, at 12:30 p.m. at the Cabrini College Main Gym in Radnor.

I don't think there's anything going on in the city, since the races for both Democratic House candidates -- Bob Brady and Chaka Fattah -- are a walk, though I sometimes have trouble remembering what Fattah is actually running for, the House or City Hall?

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