New York Post columnist John Podhoretz, known around these parts as Podhoretz the Lesser, is all a-crank because everybody’s picking on President Four-Day Delay.

In today’s paper Podhoretz offers a few doodlings about the Sumatra earthquake and tsunami (“It’s About the Tragedy -- Not More Bush-Bashing”):

[A]t this moment, the United States is not the issue.

The foreign-aid budget of the United States is not the issue.

Our government should not be the focal point of the discussion right now.

These paragraphs include the beginnings of thoughts that, if expanded by a larger mind, might be defensible, but then Podhoretz goes haywire:

Don’t we owe the dead, dying[,] and injured the minimal grace not to convert their suffering into a chat-show segment -- the latest left-right clash over the Bush presidency?

The “left-right clash” to which the Lesser refers consists, of course, in the left exploiting “this cataclysm as little more than cheap debate fodder about the nature and character of the United States, its president and its citizens.” And a Bush supporter cannot honestly whine about “the clash” when the president sends his little brother on such a critical mission.

From there it’s just a quick step into righteous indignation and ignorance:

Development aid is the blanket term for American grant money handed out to other countries, supposedly to help their economies grow. Development aid has nothing -- nothing -- to do with what has happened.

The aid at issue now is disaster relief.

These statements are so patently and astonishingly untrue it’s difficult to imagine how it made its way into print. Oh, wait, we’re talking about the Post.

Granted, the earthquake and subsequent tsunami did not result from development aid or the paucity thereof, but the extent of the destruction has everything to do with the region’s underdeveloped status. To cite only a few factors: Flimsy housing, large segments of the population crowded in squalid conditions in low-lying coastal areas, primitive livelihoods so easily shattered, inadequate infrastructure, and, apparently, no warning system.

“Disaster relief” barely begins to describe the efforts ahead in the most-affected countries. Before long the focus will have moved on to disease prevention and containment (at best), and after that to reconstruction of the devastated areas.

Reconstruction. That sounds an awful lot like development to me. To Podhoretz I’m sure it sounds like fighting words.

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From Reuters:

Two Norwegian 10-year-olds have sold their toys to raise $450 for victims of the Asian tsunami, the daily Dagbladet reported on Friday.

“It is terrible, and especially because so many children are affected,” one of the children, Ebba Tangen, told the newspaper. “So we are selling some of our toys so we can help out.”

Tangen and her schoolmate Jor Hjustad Tvedt sold toys and cakes at a square in central Oslo, raising 2,750 Norwegian crowns ($454.70) in four hours. They said they would give the money to the Red Cross and other aid organisations.

The Dagbladet story, “Solgte Lekene,” includes of a photograph of Tangen and Tvedt.

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If you don’t have anything better to do in July, and have a few thousand bucks looking for a new home, give some thought to this “opportunity of a lifetime”: Cruise with Dr. Jerry Falwell aboard the Queen Mary 2.

Packages begin at $2,995 per person -- though every package below $3,945 is tagged “limited availability” -- and top out at $7,995.

It’s worth noting that while Rev. Falwell busily solicits cruise victims, he and his friends can’t be bothered to raise money for the victims of Sunday’s tsunami. See Bill Berkowitz of Working for Change, “Christian Right’s Compassion Deficit.”

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Welcome to “Friday Fun,” the always-anticipated and supposed-to-be-weekly feature of The Rittenhouse Review, an inside look at the odd, quirky, strange, and just plain misguided web-text searches that brought visitors to the blog during the past week.

It’s a light edition due to the holidays, but there’s fun to be had.

the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders have no reason to dance before the game even starts!!!
Bitter memories of high-school try-outs?

bulldog working hard as hell
As if.

Saint Mildred
We’re working on it.

Doris Duke Kissinger
Henry, you dawg!

Ritz dish towels
Look, the soap is one thing, the towels another, but the dish towels?

jump George Bailey jump
Jump!

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We have a winner in Washington!

Democrat Christine Gregoire today was officially named the state’s governor elect, that after two recounts and a delay of 58 days following Election Day.

You see what happens when all of the votes are counted?

Can you imagine what might happen if the same concept were applied to the results of the presidential election in the state of Ohio?

Meanwhile, Gregoire’s Republican opponent, Dino Rossi, you will not be surprised to learn, is asking for another election.

Strange, I think, how some politicians shudder to think of, and even fear, the power of genuine democracy.

[Post-publication addendum: If you’re the type who enjoys blog posts that include such terms as “gal” and “babe,” be sure to check in on Professor Bainbridge, who writes, and all so enlightenedly, from the heavily subsidized confines of the University of California at Los Angeles School of Law.]

[Post-publication addendum (December 31): In the initial post I mistakenly named Sam Reed as Gregoire’s opponent, as noted in the comment by Vaara below. The text has been corrected. And go see Vaara’s blog post at Silt.]

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M.B. Williams of Wampum today asks about the future of Sen. Olympia J. Snowe (R-Maine), her question sparked by a report in the New York Times about the Bush administration’s defense spending plans, specifically the Pentagon’s decision to build fewer naval destroyers at the Bath Iron Works in Maine. (See “Pentagon Said to Offer Cuts in the Billions,” by Eric Schmitt.)

Williams inquires, “So now . . . what will Olympia do? Will she remain in the Senate, in a party in which seldom refrains from using her name and RINO [Republican in Name Only] in the same sentence? Will the Democrats attempt to woo her to cross the aisle? Will she return to Maine and follow in the footsteps of her second husband, former governor John McKernan?”

Good questions; the kind of questions I would like to see directed at Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-R.I.), who said before November 2 that he wouldn’t vote for the reelection of President Play-Doh.

Sen. James Jeffords (I-Vt.) did it -- left the weird remnants of the Republican Party -- apparently with few if any regrets. Why should he be the only one?

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The Associated Press reports:

Sen. Joe Lieberman, traveling in the Middle East Wednesday, said there is strong support in Iraq for the Jan. 30 election, and postponing it would only be a victory for the insurgents.

In a telephone call from Tel Aviv, Israel, the Connecticut Democrat said conditions in Iraq, including an increase in trained Iraqi security forces, have improved since his last visit in July. And he said the escalating violence aimed at intimidating Iraqis to postpone the election or not vote is not working in most of the country.

And there’s this:

“Morale is high,” Lieberman said. “They’re serving with a real sense of purpose and they’re proud of what they’re doing. They are contributing in a difficult circumstance to a historic transformation.”

He said he did not hear any soldiers complaining that their vehicles were not fully armored, adding that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld answered that concern earlier this month.

But to whose satisfaction other than the gullible Sen. Lieberman?

Regardless, his are utterly, um, fascinating observations, as always.

And totally worthless.

Wake me when someone who matters has something to say.

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Corporations and wealthy individuals continue to pay homage to the Bush administration in thanks for gifts they have received and expect to receive in the next four years.

The administration is required by law to disclose the names of major donors to the 55th Presidential Inaugural Committee.

So far, as of December 23, a full week ago, such donors have dropped $7.9 million into the coffers, refusing to allow a massive human tragedy to get in the way of a lame party or two.

Among the corporations that have contributed $250,000 toward the festivities: Altria Corporate Services Inc. (an affiliate of the Philip Morris Cos.), Ameriquest Capital Corp., ExxonMobil Corp., Golden Eagle Industries Inc., Kojaian Ventures L.L.C., Long Beach Acceptance Corp., Occidental Petroleum Corp., Rooney Holdings Inc., Sallie Mae Inc., Southern Co., Stephens Group Inc., Town & Country Credit, and United Technologies Corp.

Individual contributors at the quarter-million-dollar level include Elliott Broidy (of Broidy Capital Management and the Republican Jewish Coalition), Michael Dell (chairman of the board of directors of Dell Inc.), Richard and Nancy Kinder (Mr. Kinder is a former president of Enron Corp. and chairman and chief executive officer of the energy conglomerate Kinder Morgan Inc.), and T. Boone Pickens, founder of now-bankrupt Mesa Petroleum Inc. (also doing business, while viable, as Mesa L.P.) and dismally unsuccessful “takeover artist.”

Corporate contributors of $100,000 so far include: Bensco Inc., Benson Football, Boeing Co., GMAC, International Paper Co., Linger Longer Development Co., Northrop Grumman Corp., Qualcomm Inc., Union Pacific Corp., and Valhi Inc.

Trade association donors at the same amount include the Independent Community Bankers of America (Is your bank a member? Call 800/422-8439, toll-free, and ask.) and the Nuclear Energy Institute (Is your local utility, corporation, or college a member? Check this list [PDF file].).

The names of other donors, both corporations and individuals, are available at the inaugural committee’s web site.

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The New York Times in an editorial today, “Are We Stingy? Yes,” raises the real question about the aid pledged by the U.S. to the Asian and, to a lesser degree, African, countries affected by this week’s tsunami: Will we, us, the U.S., really come through?

President Bush finally roused himself yesterday from his vacation in Crawford, Tex., to telephone his sympathy to the leaders of India, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Indonesia, and to speak publicly about the devastation of Sunday’s tsunamis in Asia. […]

We hope Secretary of State Colin Powell was privately embarrassed when, two days into a catastrophic disaster that hit 12 of the world’s poorer countries and will cost billions of dollars to meliorate, he held a press conference to say that America, the world’s richest nation, would contribute $15 million. That’s less than half of what Republicans plan to spend on the Bush inaugural festivities.

The American aid figure for the current disaster is now $35 million, and we applaud Mr. Bush’s turnaround. But $35 million remains a miserly drop in the bucket, and is in keeping with the pitiful amount of the United States budget that we allocate for nonmilitary foreign aid. […]

Making things worse, we often pledge more money than we actually deliver. Victims of the earthquake in Bam, Iran, a year ago are still living in tents because aid, including ours, has not materialized in the amounts pledged. And back in 2002, Mr. Bush announced his Millennium Challenge account to give African countries development assistance of up to $5 billion a year, but the account has yet to disburse a single dollar. [Emphasis added.]

Mr. Bush said yesterday that the $35 million we’ve now pledged “is only the beginning” of the United States’ recovery effort. Let’s hope that is true, and that this time, our actions will match our promises.

Somehow, amid massive cuts in long-term defense spending already under consideration by the Bush administration, I doubt it.

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Have you ever seen a bulldog skateboarding? I have, and rest assured it wasn’t my bulldog, Mildred. Instead, it was Tyson of Huntington Beach, Calif., whose performance I caught on TV a few years ago, and to whom I recently learned an entire web site has been devoted: Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog. Don’t miss the movies!

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Yes, Reggie White, a former Philadelphia Eagle and Green Bay Packer, has passed away, and, as is our custom, our culture, which worships sports to a degree that can only be described as bizarre -- and I say that as an Eagles’ fan -- he is being lionized in the media with a staggering number of tributes, the majority of which can only be described as dishonest, the sins in this case being sins of omission.

Let’s start with the astute observations of Richard Sandomir of the New York Times (“Tributes to Reggie White Show Incomplete Picture”):

Reggie White’s death on Sunday prompted a case of one-sided history on the CBS and Fox pregame shows, which remembered him as a great football player but an even greater man, and a man loved by everyone.

White might have deserved much of the praise, but it was the type of unabashed admiration that prompts concern that the stars and producers of the programs forgot or, worse, ignored how White denounced homosexuality and traded in ethnic stereotypes in a speech to the Wisconsin State Assembly in 1998.

ABC’s “Monday Night Football,” with an extra day to contemplate his death at age 43, produced a three-minute halftime segment that chronicled his life, called him a “special man,” focused on his strength, dominance and “love of mankind” and how his “unabashed relationship with God” led him to be called the Minister of Defense.

No mention of the infamous speech.

And what did White say in that speech?

Here’s a bitter taste:

One thing I really admire about the Jewish community is that when they give their sons bar mitzvah when they’re at the age of 13, they give their daughters bat mitzvah at the age of 13, they’re celebrating their man and womanhood. They’re telling them, that look, you’re a man now. Because you’re a man, you’re going to have to become responsible. You’re a woman now. Because you’re a woman now, you have to become responsible. […]

In the process of that and having an opportunity to go to Israel, I was really impressed with some of the things that I saw over there. One thing that I was impressed with, to look back in the past and see how these people built their cities. I realized something about us as Americans. We’re lazy. We’re extremely lazy. […]

Slavery has hurt our families. It’s hurt our families big time. The conditions of the inner cities has [sic] hurt our families and other people’s families also, and it’s always interesting to me to understand one thing. Actually, I was told this by a friend of mine and a friend of his told him. We always should look at the situation and ask ourselves a question. Why did God create us differently? Why did God make me black and you white? Why did God make the next guy Korean and the next guy Asian and the other guy Hispanic? Why did God create the Indians?

Well, it’s interesting to me to know why now. When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.

White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.

Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They’re very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality. […]

The Bible repeatedly warns that without repentance judgment is inevitable. Righteousness exulted [sic] a nation, but sin is a reproach to many. America is not big enough to shake her fist in the face of a holy God and get away with it, and as I read this I want to explain something. I’m going to read this and then I want to explain something.

As America has permitted homosexuality to establish itself as an alternate lifestyle, it is also reeling from the frightening spread of sexually transmitted disease. Sin begets its own consequence, both on individuals and nations.

Let me explain something when I’m talking about sin, and I’m talking about all sin. One of the biggest ones that has been talked about that has really become a debate in America is homosexuality.

Now, I believe that one of the reasons that Jesus was accused of being a homosexual is because he spent time with homosexuals. I’ve often had people ask me, would you allow a homosexual to be your friend. Yes, I will. And the reason I will is because I know that that person has problems, and if I can minister to those problems, I will.

But the Bible strictly speaks against it, and because the Bible speaks against it, we allow rampant sin including homosexuality and lying, and to me lying is just as bad as homosexuality, we’ve allowed this sin to run rampant in our nation, and because it has run rampant in our nation, our nation is in the condition it is today.

Sometimes when people talk about this sin they’ve been accused of being racist. I’m offended that homosexuals will say that homosexuals deserve rights. Any man in America deserves rights, but homosexuals are trying to compare their plight with the plight of black men or black people. In the process of history, homosexuals have never been castrated, millions of them never died. Homosexuality is a decision. It’s not a race. And when you look at it, people from all different ethnic backgrounds are living this lifestyle, but people from all different ethnic backgrounds are also liars and cheaters and malicious and backstabbers.

We’re in sin, and because this nation is in sin, God will judge it if we don’t get it right. I want to read something about the Roman Empire that’s interesting to me when I look at our nation and see that we’re going in the same direction. […]

The events which led to the collapse of the Roman Empire are strongly similar to the events which are occurring in our own nation.

Trust me, this is merely a sampling of White’s extremist and disturbing views, which together touch upon many aspects of our society and culture, both of which caused much consternation and aggravation in the negligible mind of the much-lauded former football player turned crank.

I know, it appears from these selections, particularly the latter part, that it’s all my fault, or the fault of what a friend and I used to call PLUs, for “people like us.” But when you read White’s remarks in their entirety, you will notice that it’s everyone’s fault, everyone that is, except the sainted Reggie White.

Bigotry becomes no more appealing when a vocal proponent on its behalf is resting in a casket.

[Post-publication addendum (December 30): Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Bob Ford offered some interesting observations about White on December 27 in “No End to the Leader He Might Have Been.”]

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When I first heard the United States had pledged $35 million in aid to the Asian and African countries hit by Sunday’s earthquake and tsunamis -- death toll now estimated at more than 80,000 souls -- I was shocked by our government’s foolish, and suddenly discovered, thriftiness.

Quickly, however, another thought came to mind: Surely this is the just the beginning, only our initial commitment. That notion appears to have been confirmed by subsequent events and is something about which we should all be pleased, assuming the Bush administration’s pledges are carried out.

What bothers me still is that President Hey We Seen Floods in Texas, Too couldn’t take himself away from clearing brush at his Crawford, Texas, vacation home to speak publicly and personally about this enormous tragedy until today.

Sunday . . . Monday . . . Tuesday . . . Wednesday.

That’s either three or four days, depending upon how you’re counting. Regardless it’s far too long, to say nothing of embarrassing, insensitive, thoughtless, even cruel.

Is this “compassionate conservatism” or procrastinating conservatism? Or something worse?

Someone less kind than I might wonder whether the president was on a bender.

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Finally I have something in common with President C-Plus Augustus [Credit: Charles Pierce, I believe.] That -- C-plus -- is the grade this site received in a round-up of Philadelphia blogs published in the January 2005 issue of Philadelphia magazine. [Ed.: No link for the non-linking.]

The piece appears in what is called in the magazine publishing business “the front of the book,” the hodgepodge of brief items editors rely on to keep junior writers and interns from spending all day on the phone with friends. More specifically, the reviews, written by staff writers Maureen Tkacik and Sasha Issenberg, occupied the aptly named feature, “60-Second Critic.” [Note: The article is not yet available at the magazine’s web site.]

There may have been a time I would have been insulted by receiving a C-plus for this effort. And there still may be a place from which receiving that particular grade would sting, but surely Philadelphia isn’t in that category.

This is a magazine in which editorial meets advertorial meets advertising in a union so gleeful it’s never clear which is which and what is what. Best restaurants! Best real estate! Best doctors! Best restaurants! Best schools! Best of Philly! Best hospitals! Best restaurants! Really, all you need to know about Philadelphia is that the cover of the issue under discussion features “The Best New Restaurants,” which may have been the cover story of the October issue also, but I would have to check.

So what do Tkacik and Issenberg, obviously writing on the fly and simultaneously aiming for a hip, in-the-know style of commentary, a target they clearly miss, have to say about The Rittenhouse Review?

A few brief excerpts:

WANTS TO BE: Andrew Sullivan with a local conscience.

This is a colossal joke, or an attempt at such, or simply evidence of woeful misinformation. Note to writers: Sullivan is a conservative, I am a liberal; Sullivan is detestable, I am likeable; Sullivan is dishonest, I am honest; Sullivan takes August off, I don’t; Sullivan publishes slipshod substitute bloggers, this site is mine alone; shall I go on?

QUINTESSENTIAL QUOTE: “George Will is cracking me up today. The adulterous right-wing pundit shifts his girly throwing ‘skills’ to basketball, and the results are no more effective than when the big jock talks baseball.” [“Political Notes,” November 17, 2004. As taken from the original text.]

If this is quintessentially Rittenhouse I’ll eat my hat. Actually, it’s a pretty good line now that I read it again.

FASCINATED BY: Political imagery of masculinity.

I have no idea what this phrase means, nor to which posts I’ve written that it refers. Perhaps this particular fascination of mine resides in my subconscious, leaving me completely unaware of its effect on the blog. Or maybe it’s just a deliberate smack.

WORST HABIT: Self-indulgent patter about his mother.

How does one self-indulgently write about another person? I count 11 posts, out of thousands, in which the phrase “my mother” appears and that also refer to my mother. Perhaps the writers intended to cite my gratuitous bulldog blogging. Mildred’s name appears in more than 200 posts, and while she, Mildred, is self-indulgent, I don’t think my writing about her is any such thing. Boring maybe, overdone almost surely, but “self-indulgent”? Sorry, Mom, if I’m to follow the implied recommendations of my critics you’re off the blog. Those readers who asked me to ask you to guest blog? I guess they’re as pathetic as I am.

For their final comment, Tkacik and Issenberg offer this:

VERDICT: Capozzola vacillates wildly between measured criticism and wanton bitchiness.

But isn’t that why readers come here? Where else are you going to get that? And for much less than the $42.45 annualized cover price of Philadelphia?

Now, aside from the flaws already noted, Tkacik and Issenberg have woven a not-too-subtle and not-very-clever subtext through these remarks. Did you catch it? Andrew Sullivan . . . A quote that includes the phrase “girly throwing ‘skills’” . . . Fascinated by “imagery of masculinity” . . . Unusually attached to his mother . . . “Bitchiness.”

Trust me, I caught it. I’ve heard it all before. And it doesn’t get any wittier with each subsequent occurrence. In this respect, I will say that while not insulted, I am offended by the review. And Tkacik and Issenberg should be ashamed.

Two things bother me about all of the reviews written by Tkacik and Issenberg. First, it’s obvious they started from scratch, looking at the blogs’ most recent posts and drawing misguided conclusions from these cursory glances, hardly reasonable considering this site is more than two-and-one-half years old.

Second, and this is a point of frustration I’ve expressed here before, once again we have an example of the inability of writers who have never published a blog to understand what the endeavor is really about, what motivates a blogger, how a blogger gains a sizable audience (to emerge, for example, in the top 100 of the blog universe, estimated at more than 5 million sites), and what purpose blogs serve their writers and their readers.

Other Philadelphia blogs reviewed by Tkacik and Issenberg include Eschaton, which received a B, and Suburban Guerrilla, which was given a C-minus. Very snarky, I think. Only one of the six blogs won a A, and an A-minus at that: something called Philebrity, where the theme is notes about nightlife and the like. About that blog the writers issued this fawning verdict: “Entertaining glimpse into the obsessions of the Philadelphia slackeriti [sic].”

Why Philadelphia’s fact-checkers, if the species exists, didn’t catch the writers’ erroneously tying Duncan Black to Haverford rather than Bryn Mawr I cannot say.

At least they spelled my last name correctly.

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In an addendum to the post Fun With Anagrams, published Monday, I issued a challenge to readers to solve an anagram tied to a former colleague of mine who name formed the phrase, “Java Craze.”

Congratulations to Vern Morrison of Cleveland for being the first with the correct answer: Vera Zajac.

(I hope Zajac doesn’t mind my drawing attention to this fun aspect of her name.)

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The Associated Press reports:

A man who was angry that he got no presents for Christmas burned down his parent’s [sic] house early the next morning, police said.

Note: “a man,” not a child.

The suspect, Steve Murray, of Feasterville, Pa., is 21 years old.

And here’s the arsonist booking for quote-of-the-week designation: “So what if I burned my house down?” Murray asked during the proceedings. “It’s my house.”

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Reuters reports:

Bankrupt US Airways on Wednesday said it is asking nonunion employees who are not scheduled to work over the New Year’s weekend to volunteer to work for free at its Philadelphia operations. […]

Volunteers will be asked to meet and greet passengers at the ticket counters, security lines and baggage claim areas, as well as help on the ramp and the in the baggage sorting area.

I presume the company will fly in the volunteers at no personal expense, but then again, this is US Airways we’re talking about.

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St. Louis 20, Philadelphia 7.

What?

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Yesterday was not among my happiest days.

I left my apartment at around 3:00 p.m. for a quick run to the corner store. Soon thereafter this five-minute errand turned into a nightmare.

You see, as soon as the building’s second front door, that separating the vestibule from the street, closed behind me, I realized I had left my keys inside the apartment.

Is that a problem? Sure, you know it was, because you’ve probably done the same yourself at least once.

For me, however, it was a huge problem, because, first, I’m not supposed to be living where I’m living, meaning I couldn’t call the landlord, but also because, second, my housemate, the only other person in the world with keys here, wasn’t home, and I had no idea where he was, no way to reach him, and no idea when he would be coming home.

Worse, it was about 20 degrees outside, and around 3:30 p.m. it began snowing. As a result, it was far from pleasant to be sitting on the street waiting for my housemate to come home, or for even one of the building’s seven other tenants to show up, or merely trying to figure out just what the heck to do.

But do you know what’s really weird? I made a few visits to the nearby pizza place in search of a wire hanger and other tools intended to break in to my own home. And as it turns out, one of the waitresses working there last evening had also locked herself out of her apartment that afternoon!

What are the odds?

Yes, eventually I got back in, through the help of a nearby locksmith, but only after shelling out a hundred dollars for his time and expertise. At 6:30 p.m.

Oh, and by the way, if you think your house or apartment is secure, protected from burglary and intrusion, try inviting a locksmith over one day and just watch how easily he or she can get into your domicile. If you think criminals don’t know what locksmiths know, well, you have much to learn.

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George W. Bush.

He grew bogus.

[Ed.: Thanks to S.B.J. by way of C.C.P.]

[Post-publication addendum: Speaking of anagrams, and of course we were, I once had an editor working for me whose name, when “anagrammed,” turned into only one thing: Java Craze. Now, how cool is that? The first reader to submit the editor’s name, that which responds with the answer, “Java Craze,” will receive a book from my library, with several choices offered.]

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Henry Louis Mencken:

As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

H.L. Mencken, Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920.

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This is a little weird. No fewer than three friends and family members have told me their Christmas celebrations this year were “not bad.” I didn’t press any of them for details, so I’m not sure of the larger significance of this coincidence, if there is any at all, but it is odd, I think.

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A service provided by Amazon.com that I normally find very useful, helpful, and intriguing, namely the embedded recommendations software that serves up suggested merchandise offerings in which a customer might be interested (based on past purchases, wish-list selections, and the user’s own reports of ownership of books and other merchandise) suddenly has gone haywire.

Today my recommended books list is (over)populated by such authors as Judy Blume, Cecily von Ziegesar, Zoey Dean, Janet Evanovich of “Stephanie Plum” fame, Meg Cabot of the “Princess Diaries” series, and Peggy Parish and Fritz Siebel of “Amelia Bedelia” notoriety.

Amazon.com apparently has decided that I’m an adolescent or pre-adolescent girl, and at that the Alpha Girl I never was and never would have hoped to become. And honestly, I have no idea where the company is getting this from.

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The Associated Press today reports on a disturbing new study by the National Low Income Housing Coalition, “Out of Reach 2004.” The report, issued December 20, is based on data from the Census Bureau and the Department of Housing and Urban Development and took into account state and local variances in the minimum wage, was written by Winton Pitcoff, Danilo Pelletiere, Sheila Crowley, Mark Treskon, and Cushing N. Dolbeare. (Six previous annual “Out of Reach” surveys are published at the NLIHC’s web site.)

According to the A.P. report, “In only four of the nation’s 3,066 counties can someone who works full-time and earns the federal minimum wage afford to pay rent and utilities on a one-bedroom apartment. . . . A two-bedroom rental is even more of a burden -- the typical worker must earn at least $15.37 an hour to pay rent and utilities. . . . That is nearly three times the federal minimum wage of $5.15 an hour.”

The report found the ten least affordable metropolitan areas, based on a calculation of the “housing wage” (the amount a full-time worker must earn to be able to afford the rent for a modest two-bedroom home while paying no more than 30% of income for housing) to be: San Francisco; Stamford/Norwalk, Conn.; Ventura, Calif.; Santa Cruz/Watsonville, Calif.; Oakland, Calif.; Orange County, Calif.; San Jose, Calif.; Boston; Westchester County, N.Y.; and Nassau-Suffolk Counties, N.Y.

The “housing wage” for the San Francisco metropolitan area is $29.60 an hour, or $61,568 in annual gross income.

Nine of the ten least affordable counties are in California, in this order: San Mateo, Marin, San Francisco, Ventura, Santa Cruz, Contra Costa, Alameda, Orange, and Santa Clara. This “top ten” list ends with Nantucket County, Mass., which isn’t even a real place, except for those who serve there.

As for Philadelphia (the city and the county are geographically one and the same), the NLIHC reports:

In Philadelphia County, an extremely low income household (earning $20,640, 30% of the Area Median Income of $68,800) can afford monthly rent of no more than $516, while the Fair Market Rent for a two bedroom unit is $962.

Quick math: $962 / $516 = 1.9 times.

And then there’s this:

In Philadelphia County, a worker earning the Minimum Wage ($5.15 per hour) must work 144 hours per week in order to afford a two-bedroom unit at the area’s Fair Market rent.

FYI, there are 168 hours in a week.

Quick math: 144 hours / 168 hours = 86 percent. That’s the amount of time spent working.

More quick math: 168 hours – 144 hours = 24 hours. That’s for sleeping and getting to and from work.

Still more quick math: 24 hours / 7 hours = 3.4 hours. That’s the allotment for sleeping and commuting each day.

And finally:

The Housing Wage in Philadelphia County is $18.50. This is the amount a full time (40 hours per week) worker must earn per hour in order to afford a two-bedroom unit at the area’s Fair Market rent.

Translated into annual gross compensation, that’s $38,480 a year.

I’m willing to bet the vast majority of Rittenhouse readers, whether in Philadelphia or elsewhere, make more than that, which is all well and good. I also trust that most Rittenhouse readers can understand how difficult it is for many households to reach that comparatively modest figure at any point in their lifetimes, let alone on a sustained basis.

Thus, the question becomes: How can we get lawmakers to appreciate the significance of this dire situation?

[Ed.: My thanks to my anonymous “housing watch” reader for drawing my attention to this report.]

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It’s sad, I think, that the contrived “battle” between the greetings “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” came to such an ugly head this year.

And it’s a shame to hear and read invective being spewed all around by the all-around righteous, though, one is compelled to add, it’s not surprising that the most noxious of flames have come from the mouths of our culture’s self-styled guardians of truth and grace.

And yet there’s this, wisely, from the editors of the Philadelphia Inquirer: “[I]t begins with a semi-valid grievance: Liberals of a certain rationalist bent can be insulting to religious faith, smugly equating it with superstition.”

Tell me about it. Would there were an atheist liberal blogger or two who gave me as much respect on this issue as I give them in return. Alas, I travel to their sites only to be mocked.

But let us not allow this manufactured conflict to distract us from the spirit of the day, regardless of one another’s beliefs or each other’s observation, or the lack thereof, of this or any other holiday, religious or secular.

May we remember that the well being of friends, family, neighbors, community, and humanity are, or should be, foremost in our minds, or the consciousness of those of us who are not beholden to ideological or theological agendas.

It’s not Thanksgiving, but among those in my life to whom I am especially grateful this Christmas Eve, for a variety of and various reasons, include: L.A.-G., S.K.A., C.F.C., P.M.C., M.D., D.E., L.H., C.M.K., R.J.L., S.M., C.C.P., and B.P.

I cannot thank you enough.

City Hall
Philadelphia
1900

Also on my mind this evening are the service people, reservists, and national guard members stationed in and near Iraq.

An especially loud shout-out this Christmas and New Year’s goes to the 427th Transportation Co., based in nearby Norristown, Pa., a unit proudly and ably performing extremely difficult tasks in Iraq, responsibilities I’m happy to say have been made more secure as a result of the Army’s recent up-armoring of every critical vehicle in the 427th’s fleet of trucks.

About that at least, I am very pleased. Stay safe, guys.

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Warning! Still more shameless familial promotion ahead.

Sure, my little younger sister beat me to the presses with her book, Savannah College of Art and Design: Restoration of an Architectural Heritage.

I can deal with that. Congratulations and everything.

And now it appears my little younger brother, Christopher Capozzola, will beat me to the whole ink-on-paper thing as well, this with his forthcoming work, Uncle Sam Wants You: Political Obligations in World War I America.

(Don’t you wish you had thought of that title? That subject?)

[Write faster, Jim!]

By the way, Capozzola (Christopher) recently was the subject of a brief article in Italia Press, “Cittadinanza e Identità in Tempo di Guerra.” [Ed.: Linked article written in Italian.]

Translations of the linked article are available upon request.

For a modest fee, of course.

Hey, someone in the family has to make some money from this.

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Warning! Shameless familial promotion ahead.

The Rittenhouse Book of the Week for the week ended Friday, December 24, is Savannah College of Art and Design: Restoration of an Architectural Heritage

The following is from Amazon.com:

About the Authors: Connie Capozzola Pinkerton, a historic preservation professor, and Dr. Maureen Burke, an art historian, along with the valuable contributions of the historic preservation department and other members of the Savannah College of Art and Design community, have created a work sure to be treasured by the college, Savannahians, and anyone interested in architectural preservation.

Product Description: In 1979, a small art college with 71 students opened its doors in a renovated 19th-century building in the urban heart of colonial Savannah, Georgia. One of the most historic cities on the eastern seaboard, Savannah is noted for its architectural treasures, urban forest and verdant squares, and for the unique 1733 city plan designed by General [James Edward] Oglethorpe. The campus fabric of the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) grew from the Romanesque revival Savannah Volunteer Guards Armory, designed by Boston architect William Gibbons Preston in 1892, to comprise some 60 rehabilitated historic structures situated within four historic districts. Currently, more than 6,200 students pursue their dreams in this wonderful setting.

Product Details: Paperback: 128 pages; Publisher: Arcadia Publishing (October 27, 2004); ISBN: 0738517186.

Buy it here and The Rittenhouse Review cashes in on the payola receives a modest portion of pretax, pre-shipping sales.

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Welcome to “Friday Fun,” the always-anticipated and supposed-to-be-weekly feature of The Rittenhouse Review, an inside look at the odd, quirky, strange, and just plain misguided web-text searches that brought visitors to the blog during the past week.

Here we go!

ky [Kentucky] laws pertaining to a parent smoking around a child and it is a danger to the child’s health
I don’t know about you, but I’m glad I’m having dinner elsewhere tonight.

Rittenhouse Rick Santorum residence
How many houses does this guy need anyway? Is there really another one in Rittenhouse Square?

quote the company you keep
I like this phrase. I’ve used it while discussing such fading B-list pundits as Tina Brown and her occasional lap dog Andrew Sullivan.

Jessica Savitch meltdown video
I’m working on getting video of this, a frequent search request at Rittenhouse. Please be patient.

doggie daycare in Philadelphia
Yes, it exists here at several sites, but it’s funny you ask, or someone asks, as I’ve been mulling such a venture given how poorly the daycare providers in Philadelphia run their businesses.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet
Been there, done that here.

Todd Oldham la-z-boy
Been there, done that here.

waitresses Christmas wrapping
Been there, done that here.

michelle malkin immigrant hater
Been there, done that here.

michelle maglalang malkin
Been there, done that here.

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Anthony Sampson, scholar, biographer, and journalist, 1926-2004.

Sampson, author of more than 20 books, including such revered classics (some of them strangely out of print) as: Mandela : The Authorized Biography; Company Man: The Rise and Fall of Corporate Life; The Seven Sisters: The Great Oil Companies and the World They Made; The Sovereign State of ITT; and Arms Bazaar: From Lebanon to Lockheed

Sampson, who also wrote for London’s Observer and Independent during his long career, passed away Saturday at his home in Wiltshire, England.

For more about Sampson, see the obituary in Tuesday’s New York Times by Margalit Fox.

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Media Matters for America today released the “Top Ten Most Outrageous Statements of 2004,” a list of pauvres mots from the likes of Tony Blankley, Pat Buchanan, Ann Coulter, Bill Cunningham, Jerry Falwell, Rush Limbaugh, Oliver North, Bill O’Reilly, Pat Robertson, and Michael Savage.

Imagine the staff of MMFA, a group of people who follow the right-wing media more closely than anyone, sitting around a conference table trying to narrow the roll call to just ten names. And imagine the dreck that was left on the floor.

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I’m pulling together a list of famous bulldog owners.

Already I’ve been informed, or become been made aware, of the following: George Clooney, Danny Masterson, Natalie Maines, Mark McGrath, Ice T, Vincent Price, and Tennessee Williams.

If you have confirmable information about any other celebrities who own bulldogs, whether or not such dogs are ordained ministers, please let me know.

[Post-publication addendum (December 20): More celebrity bulldog owners, courtesy of reader T.G.: Adam Sandler (see his loving Tribute to Meatball and Matzoball), Doc Severinsen, Ed Asner, A.J. McLean, Toni Tennille and Daryl Dragon (a/k/a The Captain & Tennille), Calvin Coolidge, Truman Capote, and Jack Osbourne.]

[Post-publication addendum (December 24): And from reader S.M.B. comes the name Howard Stern, which I think I knew at some point in the past, maybe when I lived just a few blocks from Stern’s place in New York.]

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With all the (very) contrived controversy recently surrounding that which has become known as “Christmas Under Attack,” it is only fitting that in my household, where both religion and the First Amendment are taken seriously, that my bulldog, Mildred, today was ordained as a minister of the Universal Life Church.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and Mildred, as expected, conducted herself with impeccable dignity, solemnity, and grace.

The post-ordination reception, held at the Ritz-Carlton, Philadelphia, was festive and celebratory, yet tasteful and refined. There the Rev. Pierce’s blessings were sought by many, both human and canine. Healings were ample and duly noted.

Think I’m kidding?

Below is Mildred’s certificate of ordination and credentials of ministry:

Please come back for more information about the Rev. Pierce’s church, including its doctrines, theology, practices, and methods and means of donation. Meanwhile, please join me in congratulating Mildred as she embarks upon her latest endeavor.

[Post-publication addendum: J.C. Christian, of Jesus’ General, offers relevant comments in “The Bitch Wears a Collar.”]

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Lately I’ve seen many television advertisements placed by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, all of them featuring actress and diabetic Mary Tyler Moore.

Because I recently became interested in this disease -- for reasons that relate not to me directly and are not relevant to this discussion -- I’m pleased to see the ads getting so much airtime.

Still, there’s something Moore says in the ad that, while raising my hopes, also sparks a question. Specifically, and I’m paraphrasing here, Moore states in the ads: “We are so close to a cure.”

What I’d like to know, from those who have been following this issue more closely and for longer than I have, is whether Moore’s statement is true.

Is the cure of juvenile diabetes “so close”? Closer at hand than it was five, 10, or 20 years ago? Or is Moore’s observation something more akin to an exhortation intended to raise more funds for the organization?

By no means should these questions be interpreted to suggest that the JDRF is not a worthy recipient of your charitable contributions, because I’m sure it is, and I encourage you to support this organization.

I’m just asking is all. Your informed comments are welcome here.

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The Philadelphia Eagles today defeated the Dallas Cowboys by a score of 12 to 7.

Sure, it wasn’t pretty -- though the fourth quarter played out well -- but who cares, it was still a win. Of course, the injury to Terrell Owens is disturbing.

The Eagles are now 13-1 with just two regular-season games remaining (St. Louis Rams on December 27; Cincinnati Bengals on January 2), and today secured the home-field advantage for the playoffs.

I know, you could have read that anywhere.

I just felt like saying it here.

(By the way, to any Detroit Lions fans reading this, all I can say is, gee whiz, those last seconds just have to hurt.)

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Embattled Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld (and let’s all start using that descriptive whenever referring to the man), in a reversal of his reversal of longstanding procedure, has decided henceforth to sign, in his own hand, letters of condolence to the families of soldiers killed in the war on Iraq.

What was he doing before now, you ask?

Outsourcing the task to a machine.

[Post-publication addendum (December 25): Cool! A Google search of embattled Donald Rumsfeld yields approximately 28,600 hits.]

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I’m pleased to report, after so many inquiries and much anticipation, that my bulldog, Mildred, finally has begun writing her memoirs.

Work on Chapter One Begins Tomorrow

The working title of Mildred’s autobiography: Perfecting the Art of Sleep: One Nap After Another.

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I see in today’s New York Times that one can buy one’s way into public service for a mere $12 billion.

Okay, it’s not what you think.

What’s happening is that Exelon Corp. is in the advanced stages of negotiations to acquire Public Service Enterprise Group Inc. (See “Biggest Utility in New Jersey Seen as Target of Acquisition,” by Jad Mouawad and Andrew Ross Sorkin, New York Times, December 18.)

Exelon, based in Chicago, was formed through the 2000 acquisition by PECO Energy Inc., the parent of Philadelphia Electric Co., of Unicom Corp., the parent of Commonwealth Edison Co. of Chicago.

In turn, Public Service Enterprise, headquartered in Newark, N.J., is the parent company of Public Service Electric & Gas Co., the largest regulated energy utility in New Jersey.

A combination of Exelon and PSEG, both of which rely more heavily than most electricity producers on nuclear-generated power, would create the largest utility holding company in the U.S., according to the Times.

Um, Jim? Electric utilities?

Fascinating stuff, huh? Look, back in the early-to-mid stages of my pre-blogging life I spent many hours over the course of many years analyzing and reporting on the electric- and gas-utility industries (among several others) and their associated investment opportunities.

In life there are some things of which it’s hard to let go. Although this subject area, even for me, doesn’t rank at the very top of such a list, its pull, and whence it comes I have no idea, remains surprisingly strong.

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Welcome to “Friday Fun,” the always-anticipated and supposed-to-be-weekly feature of The Rittenhouse Review, an inside look at the odd, quirky, strange, and just plain misguided web-text searches that brought visitors to the blog during the past week.

Here we go!

what does it mean when your birth certificate was seal [sic] in 1970?
Now, I’m just taking a wild guess here, but is it possible the seal in question indicates you, the searcher, were born in 1970?

Sean Hannity Cornel West debate
I assume floor was mopped. Much floor. And rather convincingly mopped at that. (It goes without saying that I meant West, right?)

Joan Peters distortions
Discussed at The Rittenhouse Review on June 19, 2002, in a lengthy post, “The Rehabilitation of Joan Peters.”

Meghan Cox Gurdon
TBogg, please call your office.

Jim Hart Carly Simon husband
Yes, Jim Hart is Carly Simon’s second husband. (As is more widely known, Simon’s first husband was singer-songwriter James Taylor.) Simon and Hart were married in 1987. From the beginning of the marriage Hart shunned attention of any kind; I assume they are still married, but I wouldn’t swear to it.

Philly’s skyline profile
Although I’ve discussed the Philadelphia skyline, or individual components thereof, several times here, I doubt I would have done so quite those terms. That’s largely because I try to limit my use of the diminutive “Philly,” an idiosyncrasy I despise, to conversations with those I know or expect will turn at first breath to this particularly cloying slang.

By the way, it appears the Philadelphia skyline before long will become still more impressive. The Cira Centre, the Cesar Pelli-designed tower under construction near 30th Street Station, is progressing nicely.

Cira Centre

And it appears One Pennsylvania Plaza (a/k/a the Comcast Tower), which upon completion will be the city’s tallest building, after considerable controversy might actually be built at 17th Street and John F. Kennedy Boulevard. And there is much more planned.

Catholic Cathedral of Philadelphia
The one and only, the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter & Paul, located in the Logan Square neighborhood of Center City Philadelphia.

Sts. Peter & Paul
Home of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia

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The Associated Press reports today that, despite the story’s headline -- “GOP Senators Spring to Defend Rumsfeld” (by David Espo) -- a growing number of Republican senators are sharply criticizing the performance of Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld, though none yet has called for his ouster or resignation.

The A.P.’s Espo reports, “The increased criticism from Republicans also coincides with the aftermath of Rumsfeld’s encounter with troops in Kuwait who complained about long deployments and a lack of armored vehicles and other equipment.

Secretary Rumsfeld’s Republican critics include Sen. Trent Lott (Miss.), who recently told a Biloxi, Miss., audience, “I’m not a fan of Secretary Rumsfeld. I don’t think he listens enough to his uniformed officers.” Sen. Lott, the A.P. reports, said President Bush should implement personnel changes at the Pentagon within the coming year.

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) also has raised concerns. She released a letter to Secretary Rumsfeld asking why the Army had not moved more aggressively to produce fully armored Humvees for troops at war in Iraq, noting she had raised the same neglected issue at a Senate hearing months ago.

And there’s Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.), who the A.P. reports said recently, “I don’t like the way he has done some things. I think they have been irresponsible.”

Among Sen. Hagel’s publicly stated examples of Secretary Rumsfeld’s irresponsibility: “We didn’t go into Iraq with enough troops. He’s dismissed his general officers. He’s dismissed all outside influence. He’s dismissed outside counsel and advice. And he’s dismissed a lot of inside counsel and advice from men and women who have been in military uniform for 25 and 30 years.”

And lest we forget, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said he had “no confidence” in the defense secretary.

Publicly defending Secretary Rumsfeld are Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) and Senate Majority Whip Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.).

Sen. Frist, according to the A.P., said in a written statement: “I am confident that Secretary Rumsfeld is fully capable of leading the Department of Defense and our military forces to victory in Iraq and the war on terror. Most importantly he has the confidence of his commanders in the field and our commander in chief.”

Sen. McConnell, again according to the A.P., said Secretary Rumsfeld “is an excellent secretary of defense and we are fortunate to have a man of his courage and vision serving the president at this critical time.”

Let’s see. By my count that makes four against (Sens. Collins, Hagel, Lott, and McCain) to just two in favor (Sens. Frist and McConnell), at least among those brave enough to speak out.

A two-to-one margin against. Hardly the stuff of a vote of confidence, one would think.

[Post-publication addendum (December 18): See also “Dem[ocrat]s Want Answers From Rumsfeld on Armor,” by Maura Kelly Lannan, the Associated Press, in the Washington Post: “The incoming deputy leader of Senate Democrats demanded answers Saturday from Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld as to why U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan lack protective equipment for themselves and their vehicles. ‘We can, and we should, armor every Humvee and every truck our troops use in Iraq and Afghanistan,’ Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., said in his party’s weekly radio address. ‘No more excuses, no more delays. We can save hundreds of lives and prevent thousands of serious injuries.’ . . . ‘The Pentagon says the lack of protective equipment is a matter of “logistics,”’ Durbin said. ‘No, it’s not. It’s a matter of leadership.’”]

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Below is a brief, and incomplete, list of articles published in the leading regional newspapers since the Rittenhouse Review’s post about the impending move of the Barnes Collection from Lower Merion, Pa., to the Benjamin Franklin Parkway in Center City Philadelphia.

”Not All Requests Appear Granted by Barnes Ruling,” by Patricia Horn, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 17.

”Pledge Made to Duplicate Barnes' Space,” by Inga Saffron, architecture critic, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 16.

”Barnes Site is Ideal, Setting Stage for a Cultural Mecca,”, editorial, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 16.

”Does It Matter Where This Painting Hangs?” by Robert Smith, New York Times, December 15.

”Moving the Barnes,” editorial, New York Times, December 15.

”Youth Center Is Barnes' New Site,” by Patricia Horn, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 15

”In the End, a Move Was Only Way Out,” by Bruce H. Mann, op-ed page, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 15.

”Shame on Those Who Pulled Off the Heist,” by Robert Zaller, op-ed page, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 15.

”Judge Backs Move by Barnes Gallery,” by Patricia Horn, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 14.

”Judge Clears Way for Barnes Collection Move into Philadelphia,” by David B. Caruso, Washington Post, December 15.

”Judge Found 'Clues' to Support Barnes Move,” by Emilie Lounsberry, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 14.

"It Can Move, But it Won't Be the Barnes Anymore,” by Edward J. Sozansk, art critic, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 14.

”The Barnes Ruling Start of a Masterpiece,” editorial, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 14.

”Mixed Reaction of Barnes' Neighbors,” by Matthew P. Blanchard, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 14.

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This is just plain incredible: “Judge Rules the Barnes Can Move to Philadelphia,” by Carol Vogel, the New York Times.

Just one more reason this is so great: Because the proposed Calder museum, which was kind of up in doubt, something to do about really itchy progeny, will now, because of the Barnes, become a reality.

And because with the Barnes and the Calder joining the rest of the museums on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, we, Philadelphia, I mean, are really so there. So really very there.

(You know, I didn’t blog about this while it was all going on, but I should have. I really thought Judge Stanley R. Ott was going to go the other way. I’m so grateful he didn’t.)

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I have a cold. I’ve had this cold for six weeks and counting. Sudafed and I are on a first-name basis. It’s getting really old.

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Surely you won’t disagree that Kathy Bates is the best actress who ever lived in the whole damned friggn’ world. That’s what I say, and I’m sticking with it.

That premise having been agreed upon, let’s now decide the film in which the incredibly beautiful Bates gave her very best performance.

You have five selections:

Around the World in 80 Days
Dolores Claiborne
Fried Green Tomatoes
Misery
Used People

Please vote in the poll in the sidebar at right.

[Post-publication addendum December 12: Meryl Streep, so great they say, and yet she cannot even master an Australian accent. “Dingo ate my baby.” So very South African of her. See comments.]

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It was close, and I think it was decided at the very last minute, or on the very last day, but Rittenhouse readers collectively answered correctly the following question, posted last Saturday, “Which of these cities does not regularly appear in the list of the top-ten cities from which readers access The Rittenhouse Review?”

Yes, you’re right. The correct answer is Phoenix.

The results of the poll, or survey, are published below.

Phoenix: 58 votes, or 36%
Houston: 56 votes, 35%
Atlanta: 17 votes, 11%
Philadelphia: 16 votes, 10%
San Francisco: 7 votes, 4%
Seattle: 4 votes, 2%
Los Angeles: 2 votes, 1%
Chicago: 1 vote, 1%

Philadelphia? I mean, really, who the hell voted for Philadelphia? Philadelphia consistently appears at the very top of the list of my visitors’ domiciles. I’m more popular, at least I think, in Philadelphia than is the much-vaunted, and dear friend, Atrios. Maybe that’s because I actually write for a living blogging.

(I know, I really should try that one-word blogging thing, to say nothing of the gratuitous “open-thread”-blog-for-me-because-you-sent-me-overseas-and-I’m-just-not-available-to-you stuff. It all seems to pay well for Duncan.)

Houston? That was kind of a trick on my part. I’ll bet you were thinking Red State stuff, and that they wouldn’t trod here. You’re excused.

Nice job, people.

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Now, is it just me or is all of the hullabaloo, or kerfuffle, as the right wing prefers, about butane lighters on airplanes all just a little too much, just slightly misguided, considering our ports are completely unguarded?

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Oh, bejeezerse, all I need to do is link to this stupidity from Linda Chavez, the punditocracy’s most coddled, most affirmative-actioned, half Spanish-American, about Mary Frances Berry. (I know, she, Chavez, says she didn’t want it, the preferential treatment and all, but she still took it. All of it. Every last dollar of it.)

May I just say that Chavez, in her rampant and unrestrained idiocy, throws about the word “Maoism”? Such is what we’re to deal with here.

As they say at Townhall.com, and at the Jewish World Review, contact Linda Chavez.

[Post-publication addendum: Now, am I wrong, or will Mrs. Chavez Gerston Heinz Kerry Rodham Clinton Maglalang Malkin’s next article be about Bernard B. Kerik?]

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Incredible. Right-wing bloggers are going nuts because Bernard B. Kerik, the Bush administration’s choice for Secretary of Primary & Some Secondary Colors, pulled a Linda Chavez.

In the words of the New York Times, Kerik “abruptly withdrew his name from consideration to be President Bush’s secretary of homeland security late Friday night, citing questions related to the immigration status of a former household employee.”

Guess what, people? Kerik wasn’t “targeted,” or “harassed,” or “subject to unfair treatment.”

Kerik, like Chavez, broke the law, a law even someone like me, who hasn’t employed household help in three years, knows is the law of the land.

I know President I Wanna’ Be a Dictator has debased standards right and left, but really, lawbreakers in the Cabinet? Surely we can do better.

[Post-publication addendum: SLZoll, a/k/a Sheri, comments here. And here from the Talking Dog. And Avedon Carol. And Lambert of Corrente.]

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The December 27 edition of The Nation is now online. Unfortunately, for those of you who don’t subscribe, you’re missing a terrific “Letters” section, not reproduced online, one that includes a missive from the detestable Christopher Hitchens, which I share with you herewith.

Bruce Robbins is entitled to his room-temperature resentment of me [“Prisoner of Love,” Dec. 6], but he makes a false allegation when he says that I have “repeatedly claimed [George] Orwell’s mantle.” To the contrary, and leaving aside the fact that I don’t believe in “mantles” anyway, I have taken every opportunity to disown this aspiration. My denial doesn’t involve me in much immodest effort: Orwell suffered from censorship and hardship all his writing life and took a bullet from a Francoist while narrowly escaping another one in the back from Stalin’s agents in Catalonia. My own life has been somewhat easier, and better rewarded. Moreover, Orwell wrote much better than I do and was capable of producing serious fiction, which I am not.

Once or twice, critics and reviewers have been good enough to make a comparison between us, which makes my shy but which delights my publishers. As with, say, “Jeffersonian,” the term “Orwellian” has only one proper attribution. The coinage “Hitchensian” is unkindly affixed by Robbins to the word “simplifications,” but even if it were yoked to a nobler term, I just can’t see much of a radiant future for it.

The mind reels. This is just so precious, isn’t it? If ever a piece warranted, needed even, a “fisking,” this would be it, but nobody, other than, I think, Andrew Sullivan, does that anymore, so I’ll let you share this with family and friends for your own hearty laughs. (I especially like the part about not being “capable of producing serious fiction.” And Hitchens “shy”? Hilarious.)

Note to Hitchens: Do not write letters to editors while intoxicated.

By the way, Robbins’s reply to Hitchens is outstanding. But to see that you will have to subscribe for, or buy, the magazine. And you really should anyway.

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I’ve been hounding on this issue, alone, for so long that it’s almost a letdown to learn President Aversion Therapy today finally showed up for his annual physical.

Hey, no sweat. There are only 20 days left in 2004.

Dr. Frank, Mister Must Reading, are you paying attention?

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How sad, how pathetic, that I’ve heard not one word from Michelle Maglalang nor from Jesse Maglalang Malkin, and that despite my numerous inquiries to both parties, messages in which I ask Jesse and Michelle to explain themselves, and invitations they decidedly have refused.

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I’m so pleased to see the mainstream media finally giving some attention to the incredibly disgraceful issue of American troops left defenseless by the lack of adequate armor for transportation vehicles.

Herewith just a sample of recent reports on the subject:

“Armor Issue Echoes at War, Home,” by Tom Infield and Edward Colimore, Philadelphia Inquirer, December 10.

“Reporter Had Role in Soldier’s Query,” by Gail Gibson, the Baltimore Sun, in the Philadelphia Inquirer, December 10.

“Bush: Troop Needs Are Being Met,” by Steve Holland, Reuters, in the Philadelphia Inquirer, December 10.

“Armor Scarce for Big Trucks Transporting Cargo in Iraq,” by Thom Shanker and Eric Schmitt, New York Times, December 10.

“Troops Grill Rumsfeld as Insurgents Fight On,” by Eric Scmitt, the New York Times, in the Philadelphia Inquirer, December 9.

“Military Said Working on Armor Upgrade,” by John J. Lumpkin, the Associated Press.

“Paper Barred From Fort Carson Over Story,” by the A.P.

Funny, almost, I think, isn’t it, that Rittenhouse readers were fully informed of this matter, beginning in August, in a series of posts about the 427th Transportation Company.

But, hey, I’m just a blogger. I’m nobody. What I write doesn’t matter.

Of course, it mattered a great deal to family members of those serving in Kuwait and Iraq, with the 427th and other units, people who were scrambling for makeshift armor for the Humvees under discussion and who were reduced to, debased by, having to troll the internet for body armor.

For shame.

And do you know what? Back in August I sent many e-mails to the appropriate parties at the Philadelphia Inquirer and the Philadelphia Daily News.

And my messages were ignored.

Ignored.

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Yesterday I shared with you the e-mail response I received on November 16, 2003, from Jesse Maglalang Malkin in which the Rand Corp. “scholar” and husband of the pundit declaimed the participation of his wife Michelle Maglalang in his correspondence with The Rittenhouse Review.

Psycho Woman
Michelle Maglalang: Unhinged

Today I share with you my response to Mr. Maglalang Malkin’s November 16 e-mail:

Duly noted.

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Welcome to “Friday Fun,” the always-anticipated and supposed-to-be-weekly feature of The Rittenhouse Review that offers a quick look at just some of the searches that brought visitors to the blog during the past week. (It’s better than a late-morning thread, don’t you think?)

Rittenhouse attack dog
Wait, do you mean Mildred? You’re just so wrong with the whole “attack” thing. So wrong.

Steve Lawrence Tweedle Dum
So that makes Eydie Gorme, what, Tweedle Dee? (Just mentioning Gorme brings back a memory of my late Aunt Sarah, who despite the nomenclature, was actually a cousin. Aunt Sarah and I, almost 30 years ago, were watching television and Gorme appeared on screen for some reason. I said to Aunt Sarah, “You look like her.” And to that Aunt Sarah replied, “Yes, but much better looking, don’t you think?” How do you answer a question like that? Like this: “Of course!”)

syphilis Condoleezza Rice
Somehow I doubt it.

Condi Rice bad choice
I couldn’t agree more.

Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader Christina
They have names?

James Baker get rid of dead wood
James Baker. Dead wood. Oh yeah.

cut the crap review
Is that a terrific name for a blog or what?

Hillary Clinton black lingerie cover
I’m not even going there.

Dennis Priven
Yes, he’s been mentioned here. And he’s scum.

scientology Laura Ingraham
She’s done stranger things.

Amy Guttman is she Jewis [sic]
The reference here is to the new president of the University of Pennsylvania. I have no idea whether or not she’s “Jewis,” though I might add that this searcher perhaps meant “Jewess”? You never know with these clowns.

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There was a very disturbing article in yesterday’s Philadelphia Inquirer, a piece you may have seen in your own newspaper as it was an Associated Press report about the mysterious ailment afflicting Ukrainian opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko (“Yushchenko’s Disfiguring Illness Baffles Doctors,” by Susanna Loof).

Unfortunately the Inquirer doesn’t reproduce photographs on its web site. To the rescue comes Will Bunch of Campaign Extra, who not only displays the photos, but asks, tongue firmly in cheek, whether Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) was subjected to the same treatment.

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I just saw that ad, the “controversial” television advertisement produced for the United Church of Christ. It was on TNT.

Good Lord, and I mean that, what is the fuss about? The ad is so utterly harmless, so devoid of argumentation, as to be almost meaningless.

[Post-publication addendum (December 17): See also “Religion and Advertising,”, by Peter Steinfels, New York Times, December 17.]

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This whole Chia thing, about which I commented briefly on December 5 is an even bigger phenomenon than previously thought. Here I thought there was only the original Chia Pet, but now I’ve learned there also are so many others: the Chia Puppy, the Chia Kitten, the Chia Elephant, the Chia Bunny, the Chia Dino, the Chia Frog, the Chia Pig, the Chia Hippo, the Chia Cow, the Chia Tree, the Chia Guy, the Chia Kid, the Chia Professor, the Chia Clown, the Chia Lion Cub, the Chia Shrek, the Chia Donkey, the Chia Scooby, the Chia Shaggy, the Chia Homer, the Chia Bart, the Chia Garfield, the Chia Cat Grass Planter, and my favorite, the product-line extension known as the Gourmet Herb Garden.

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The common area of the apartment building in which I’m living smells of, um, there’s the unmistakable odor of, well, feces.

And it’s really creeping me out.

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